new year's promise

2014.

Didn't you all think we'd be living in space or something by now? Or at least making cars that get 100 miles to the gallon?

This is the first day in 2 weeks I'll be home all day. Whew. It's been two weeks full of family and goodness. But shoot-dang I'm exhausted. So is my little girl. Brent? He's playing three games of basketball. What is wrong with him? 

So how am I ringing in the new year? Doing laundry. Scrounging for leftovers. And putting a large dent in my one pound bag of dark chocolate m&ms. And when I finish this post: napping.

However, I wanted to share two brief moments from the past two weeks that I want to hold onto a little longer:

On Christmas Eve, as a present to ourselves, Brent and I decided we were going to let Blythe sleep with us since she never has. On the way home from our Christmas Eve service though, Brent looks at me and says, "What if we just let her in our bed for like 10 or 15 minutes after she's already asleep, and then put her back in her bed? That's all we really want anyway-- 10-15 minutes of cuddles-- and then we want to actually get some sleep, right?" He's brilliant, that man.

So after she'd already been asleep in her bed for a few hours, we took her into our room and laid her in between us. She stayed asleep and we breathed in her scent and rubbed her soft cheeks and felt her heartbeat against ours. I remember looking over her at Brent, and he smiled at me, and in that moment everything was so good.

And then we scooped her up and moved her back to her room and crashed for the night. :)

The rest of the week was spent at my parent's house since my sister and her family were here. This meant Blythe slept in a pack and play in my mom and dad's bathroom. Every night we put her down over there, and then hung out for a few more hours before rounding up and heading home and transferring her to her bed [she's a phenomenal sleeper if you haven't gathered that yet]. One night we went in to get her and when Brent picked her up she woke up slightly, and was startled [I think I would be too if someone picked me up while I was dead asleep].

But then I witnessed this beautiful, small moment. Blythe started whimpering and crying, a little unsure and scared of what was happening. Brent didn't even hesitate but just pulled her in closer to his body and whispered in her ear, "It's me, Blythe. It's Daddy. You're okay. I've got you." She settled right back  down and melted into him, sound asleep again. This moment, though so fleeting and seemingly small, spoke volumes to me: In it I realized anew the beauty and tenderness and care of the man I married. But I also got to see a picture of the Heavenly Father: I saw His love for me in my moments when I am scared and unsure and I don't know what is happening around me. He just holds me close, and assures me that He's got me, and I'm okay. Blythe didn't have to relax and trust Brent in that moment, but she did because she knew she could.

That is the picture I want to take with me into the New Year: this year promises a lot of uncertainty, a lot of moments of fear. But this year also promises a steady Father who will hold me through it all and whisper me back to peace that surpasses understanding.