Becks is TWELVE!

Becks Lynae,

Twelve years ago I was just getting over kidney stones and wondering what our family was going to look like once you joined the fray. I had no idea that such a tiny package could pack such a punch, and twelve years later, we are still so incredibly grateful for the ways God has made you so tenacious and spunky. I think it gets harder for me to write these letters every year, not because you are less amazing but because you are MORE and MORE amazing-- you are becoming more the young woman that God is molding you to be, and it is sometimes overwhelming for me to get a front row seat to see. 

You wrapped up your elementary days with a good year in sixth grade. You were challenged academically, and you had to figure out some new organizational skills and study habits as you had more homework than before, and you rose to the challenge (most of the time :)) At our last spring Parent Teacher conference, your teacher said to me words that I hadn't been able to ever think myself. She leaned towards me and said, "I think you're going to really love the teenage years with Becks. She is going to be a wonderful teenager." And then she prayed the sweetest prayer for you as you leave sixth grade. Becks, I haven't kept it hidden from you that your early days were a battle of the wills between you and I, and I think because of that I have kind of assumed that as we near the teenage years that we would face more of the same: but your teacher gave me some perspective that can often be hard to see when you're up close as a parent, and she reminded me to take a step back and see you for who you have become...NOT who you were when you were three. And Becks, what you have become is an incredible, kind, responsible, compassionate, and considerate young woman. And I think your teacher is right: these next years are going to be a JOY with you. 

You played basketball for the first time ever on a team this year! Due to our move, it was about a year later than we had planned on letting you start, but you loved it. You are just as aggressive and get-after-it as we thought you'd be, and each game that happened we saw you understand more and more of the game. You have a really fun and encouraging group of girls around you, and I pray as you guys go throughout school together in all your different activities and sports that you'll continue to encourage one another. We didn't really know what to expect for your first game, but it was so fun: the ball was tipped to you and you dripped to the elbow, took a shot, and sank it! Like you'd been playing the game for years. But what was even more surprising was that you discovered a new love: volleyball! We dabbled in it last year but this year you were able to play a lot more and you LOVE it. You will spend hours in the driveway bumping the ball back and forth with Nan, or against the wall. I can't wait to see you join the team in junior high. It's so fun to discover something new, and hold onto that throughout your life-- even at my age you can still learn and grow new skills and discover new things all the time. 

You are always looking for a time and place to go fishing. On your actual birthday when we asked what you wanted to do, we should have known we would have ended up at the pond. You've always been our kid who will grab the toad, catch the bug, jump in the mud, climb the tree, but I get such a kick out of watching you grab the fish, pop the hook out, and release it back into the water, You have no qualms about touching the worm or the scales, and you help all your siblings as you catch and release, catch and release. (Especially Blythe, who absolutely does NOT share this love of fish with you haha). You love to be in the woods, but you're still not so sure about going hunting with Papa, and I doubt your tender heart would allow you to pull the trigger. 

You have also become really helpful at home, doing laundry and helping in the kitchen. I can hand you a recipe and you can whip most things up with minimal or no help. This is amazing! I love that you have found this love. You also have developed some really wonderful friendships, one in particular, and your dad and I know, without a doubt, are exact answers to our prayers for you. I always prayed that God would bring you just one person that could be "your person," that loved Jesus, that was a leader you could follow, and that would allow you out of your shell and allow you to fully be yourself. And man did he come through. So when you doubt that God is a God who answers prayers, look at your friends and know they are the answer to prayers we've been praying for a long time. 

Another thing I absolute love about you? You LOVE good food! It's so fun to share more flavors with you now and watch you appreciate things I've made. Just recently I made bruschetta and threw it on some garlicky rice with chicken and Becks, you were literally stomping your feet while you ate because you loved it so much. I think this bleeds into your enjoyment for cooking, because once you appreciate more flavors it is more fun to learn how to make them yourself.  You also have an engine in you that just doesn't quit. On our trip to Colorado this year we did a pretty big 6 mile hike one day with a decent amount of elevation gain. It took us over 4 hours. I was sore later that day, and ready to just relax, and yet when your dad mentioned he wanted to get up the next morning and summit another mountain nearby with even greater elevation gain, you jumped at the opportunity to join him. You got out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and by sunrise you had summited another mountain with your dad (and Nan, who is always going to push you too ;)) 

 Twelve years old seems like your standing on the precipice of some really big things: junior high, youth group, more freedoms in a lot of areas. And yet you're still the one to come and just hug me for a bit, or lay your head on my shoulder during church. God has such incredibly things in store for you, I just know it-- I've always thought of you like dynamite: explosive potential in a tiny package! And yet I do pray you always know your dad and I are a safe space to land as you navigate all the new. But the really beautiful thing about you, is that I know YOU are going to be the safe space for so many others to land when they need someone they can trust, when they need a helping hand, when they need a listening ear, or when they just need someone to lay their head on. Because that's your super power Becks: you SEE others, and you meet them where they are at. And man if that is not a GIFT. 

As always: your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was grace that held us together; that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all. 

Happy twelfth birthday, Becks Lynae! We will always come for you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you! 

*also, you wanted to take your pictures again at Lake Michigan, as it has quickly become one of your favorite places. 

Becks is ELEVEN!

 

Becks Lynae,

Once upon a time there was a little, tiny girl. She had so much fire inside of her, but was often a little scared to let others see it. She kept it tucked away, refusing to join in on little tumbling classes or activities at her church. But as she grew older, embers began to light a little more on outside, and soon others began to notice the amazing light that this girl had. She still keeps it reserved, lest a wildfire break out, but little by little she lights torches, and invites more and more people to experience this beautiful heat she had hidden inside of her for so long. 

It's you, Becks! You're the girl! :) I remember how terrified you used to be to try new things, or speak to new people. You would cling to me and barely speak (of course, inside our house you were a raging furnace,  letting it all out! ha!). But it has been such an incredible joy to watch, especially over the last year, as you've slowly peeled back those layers and grown more confident in who God has made you to be. 

This was a huge, huge year for you with some monstrous changes. Not only did we switch schools, but we moved as well. And as I tried to help everyone in our family navigate the changes and process their feelings, YOU were the one that was the most up for each new adventure. Incredibly, you jumped into your new school and made deep friendships. When your dad and I first brought up the idea of moving, you were ready to start packing that night. You've always had a sense of adventure, and we saw it shine this last year and it helped buoy us all through the changes. When I was sad and struggling thinking about moving, you'd hug me and share some of your excitement with me: it was a weird change of roles, and I am so grateful for your positive outlook and joy during that time. Sure,  you still did things in a very Becks way: you sat on a bench at recess almost every day and observed-- your friends, the teachers, all the students, the new playground rules... all. of. it. At one point your teacher texted me, "I've checked in with her because she just likes to sit at recess, but she says she's okay..." I assured her this was classic Becks: observe, observe, observe. Understand the culture and people before you make your moves. 

One day though, your teacher sent me a picture and told me how proud she was of you. You may think it was the day you finally jumped in and played a game with your friends. Maybe it was a time you decided to finally play Venis Square. No. It was a day you quietly observed a girl on the fringes, and went and swung with her. Your teacher said you tried to engage her and make conversation. I was so proud of you, and I keep reminding you that this is your super power: you have the gift of observation and empathy. You notice. You notice things and you notice people. You have an uncanny way of seeing what people love and what irritates them. I joke that you sometimes use this gift for evil with your siblings, but more and more I see you using this gift in a way that truly is Kingdom work. And it is so beautiful to see. 

You still love to be outside, thriving in mud holes and fishing spots. You've picked up some new volleyball skills this year too, as we joined a school that doesn't have softball, so you pivoted (though still enjoy playing softball this spring in prep for a summer season). You love to put together a good outfit, and still enjoy singing. You have moved on from just having fun in the kitchen to being truly helpful. I can ask you to make a batch of cookies, or some loaves of bread (from scratch!), and you know your way around and can do it all yourself (even if you have to get out the step stool still to reach everything :) ). You're also our most adventurous eater, always willing to try new flavors and dips. Above it all though, I still think your favorite pastime is trying to force Sloan into hugs and kisses. 

You crack us up daily with your mashed up words, saying you "suspish" something, or that you have to "scroutch down." One time you said you were "getting a little "dropey,"  which I think was a cross between droopy and dopey. Once you were setting your alarm clock and told me you were going to wake up at 7:04, "right on the dab." But our all time favorite is when you said you usually squish clear to the edge of your bed and sleep right on the edge, "just on the little strim." We now use the word strim as much as possible. A favorite pastime in our family is also trying to get you to really laugh, because when you let loose it is the most pure, joyful sound and anyone around you cannot help but join in. 

Becks, I have seen your confidence grow this year in huge ways, whether you were trying new things or making new friends. But more than anything I have seen your confidence grow in your love for Jesus. What a joy it has been to watch you fall more in love with him this year. I pray that whatever it is about that feisty fire you have inside of you, that you would harness that light to shine out and share the brightest Light there is: this dark world needs more lamp lighters like you, and I am excited to get to watch and see what God does in you and through you. When I was about your age we sang a song at church camp called "Light the Fire." There was a part of the song that said, "I feel Your arms around me, as the power of your healing begins; you breathe new life right through me, like a mighty rushing wind...so Light the fire in my soul, fan the flame, make me whole." And this year, as you've walked the rope between 10 and 11, I have witnessed Him breathing new life into you, and that mighty rushing wind is stirring something deep and real. I pray that flame keeps burning bright, sweet Becksy. 

As always: your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was grace that held us together; that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all. 

Happy eleventh birthday, Becks Lynae! We will always come for you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you! 

**You wanted to wait until we could take your pictures at one of your favorite places: Lake Michigan.