And here we are, five days in to the new year. What? How did that happen?! I showed Brent a video today that I posted ONE.YEAR.AGO of Blythe that I knew he would remember as if it were yesterday and we were both like, "Woah." <translation of that thought: how-in-the-heck-has-it-already-been-a-year-she-can't-be-almost-three-we-have-had-another-baby-since-then-SLOW-DOWN-LIFE-would-ya!?
I didn't have a lot of time to really process the new year starting because I was tending to the sickies in my house [mentioned at the end of this new year's post]. It felt heavy. And exhausting at times. And it was just the flu. I was recently talking with a friend about the heaviness of life sometimes. The loss. The suffering. The sadness. In those times it is hard to remember that God is on His throne.
But as we head into this new year, this brand new 2015, I take two truths with me that I learned more about in 2014.
// God is on His throne, and He is a father; He is a good father whom I can trust to hold me when I'm scared.
Last year I chose to start the year with an image, rather than resolutions. I shared the story of Brent picking up a sleeping Blythe to bring her to the car when it was time to leave. She woke up and was scared and whimpered. Without hesitation Brent drew her in close to himself, and whispered softly, "It's me, Blythe. It's Daddy. I've got you. You're okay." And she settled right in knowing she was safe.
I have seen more evidence this year that my heavenly Father is whispering those words to my soul continuously. It's me, Kelsey. It's Daddy. I've got you. You're okay. And even when my soul is gross and my heart is mean and selfish, He still does it without hesitation.
// God is Emmanuel, God is with us. Right here, every day, God is with me and for me. It is a broken and dark and messy world down here, but He chose to be in it with me.
As Blythe and I read the Christmas story over and over and over again, she learned about Emmanuel, a God who came to be with us.
As I get older I'm more aware of the darkness that is in this world.
But I am also more aware of these two truths: God holds me close as a Father does a child, and he chose to come into this dark world to be Light and Life and to be with us.
And it is with those promises and with that peace that I begin 2015.
So do I have any resolutions this year? There are definitely things I would like to work on, improve at, and books I want to check off my list. I want to continue to write better stories with my life. I want to love and serve my girls. I want to love and serve my husband. I want to enjoy the monster fence we put in our back yard while Becks learns to walk in the new tufts of grass. I want to give more without fear of what ifs. I want to be a better neighbor.
But mainly I want to let Emmanuel permeate my heart and my home. I want to let Him hold me like a child when I'm kicking and screaming and confused. And I want others to know Him in these intimate ways because they make each morning full of deep joy, and new years less scary.
Here's to a great 2015!
And here is to me being a consistent blogger this year? [we will see…]