5.10.2013

the overflow of the heart

Yesterday I had the lovely opportunity to observe people. If you didn't know, this is one of my favorite pastimes. Creepy? Eh.

Let me set the stage:

I was sitting in the doctor's office [side note: I am NOT pregnant, just had to switch some medication…err…to ensure I remain UNpregnant for a bit ;) ], which I have deemed, next to the airport, one of THE best places to people-watch. It was mid-morning, leaning in close to lunchtime. I plop my [non-pregnant] self in one of the hard, plasticy chairs in the middle of the room, two pregnant couples to my left, one pregnant couple to my right.

Here is the scene that unfolds:

The pregnant couple to my right is made up of a young woman and man, probably in their early twenties. Clearly she is pregnant with their first child, maybe about 4 months into the pregnancy.  They are wearing wedding rings, so keep in mind he has uttered the words, "for better or for worse," and Lord help them I hope this was one of those "for worse" moments.

I'm going to call him Evan and call her Emily. I don't know why.  I just am assigning them those names.

Evan, fiddling with his phone: Remember the organic-girl I told you about from my work. 
Emily, immediately in a voice of disgust: Uhh. No. You've NEVER told me about any girl from work. 
Evan: Yeah, I know I have. Anyway… he is clearly unflustered by her disgust… she actually read to me FROM A BOOK today about how there are carcinogens in the boxes you order, like, chicken in or whatever. And then when I showed up with my smoothie she told me AGAIN all the bad things that are in it. 
Emily: Oh, she sounds REAL nice. 
Evan: Actually she is nice, just weird. 

Their conversation stops for bit, and I can't blame him. He is back to fiddling with his phone, I am back to pretending to read my book, and she is back to watching the tv perched on the wall in front of us.

A "breaking news" story cuts in about a horribly said kidnapping/potential murder of a small child in the Kansas City area.

Emily: Why in the world would they air THIS in a waiting room?! That is just disgusting. 
Evan: I think it's probably on most of the channels right now. It is really sad though.
Emily: Yeah, but that's just STUPID to put it on the tv in here. 

At this point I realize the poor guy can't catch a break. And at this point I pull out my phone, and shoot Brent a text: "Sorry if I've ever talked to you like you are an idiot."

Evan starts telling Emily about something he has been reading on his phone, I can't quite catch the details because, well, I don't want to be TOO obvious.

In the middle of his story, Emily leans forward and puts her head in her hands. Uh oh. This doesn't look good for Evan.

Emily: I think I'm going to pass out. 
Evan, putting his hand on her back and rubbing a little, continues on with his story.
Emily, interrupting him again: What does that have anything to do with me passing out? 

At this point I almost laugh out loud, so I try to tune them out a minute. Evan jumps up and bounds around the corner. Uh oh. What did I miss?!

About five or ten minutes later, Evan returns with a treat in hand. He tosses it on Emily's lap.

Emily: I hate these. 
Evan: Oh really? Sorry. The only other stuff they had were potato chips and stuff. 
Emily: I'll try it. 

The first positive thing I've heard from her! Progress!

She takes barely a nibble, then hands him the bar and instructs him to eat the rest.

A few minutes pass, Evan happily munching on the bar, and Emily decides they should discuss where they should go out to eat, if they even have TIME when they get done here! 

I don't hear his suggestion, but her response?
No, I would rather die. 

I was called in for my appointment and missed the rest of this lovely back and forth, but I'm doubting they agreed on a place to eat.

Although I found most of the conversations a bit comical, I felt terrible for Evan, who tried and tried to appease her. And when I left I thought about them again, and thought about my own marital conversations, particularly those in public.

I know I can be a whiner. And I know that Brent will do ANYTHING for me. Sometimes these two things combine into a mess. A MESS. But I try to honor Brent and encourage him and love on him with my words, not just to him but to others.

I told him last night about this exchange I heard, and then I asked if I ever talked to him that way? He said, "Not in public."

Not quite the response I wanted. He quickly assured me though that I RARELY did at home either, and it was usually when I was "hungry or tired or something".

But I know it shouldn't happen at all.

I thought of the following verses:

Matthew 12:34-35

 (NIV)
34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

 I need to be storing up Good in me so that when I open my mouth Good will come out. Thank you for that reminder, Emily and Evan. 


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2 comments:

Kali said...

While I know this was supposed to be a very honest and heart-examining post (and it was!), I couldn't help but laugh out loud as Brent's response :) He's a good man.

momiss said...

He is a good man and you are a good woman. Women are just driven to make sure every thing is "right" and I think they are happier to trust to our vision of "right" than their own. It's how God made us, to an extent. Having said that, I must admit this people-watching aspect is one of my very favorite of your aspects, right up there with hating to dust!
And I will end with the hope that Emily falls prey to a bout of hormones that leave her feeling unworthy of Evan's great patience with her and more grateful for it than ever very, very soon!