how to have a phone conversation with your sister

Me: Hey! I'm driving so thought I would call while the kids are corralled.

Kali: Yeah. Hey. Sorry it's been so long since we connected. Last week was a little....Hey! Wesley!...He just dumped his Cheerios all over the kitchen floor...No. Don't eat them. Or. Whatever. But yeah. We were kind of busy and then Dan and I got to have a night away which was nice.

Me: What was that last part? Becks just started screaming and I didn't hear you.

Kali:  Dan and I finally got to go to a Bed and Breakfast and his mom came and...Ellie. I understand you want to go outside but look at the living room. We have to pick that up first... it was really nice.

Me: That's awesome. Oh, I was going to ask you about, hang on....   .....   [stretching awkwardly into the back seat to find a paci for Becks] .... ..... how Caroline is doing in school? I'm sure great.

Kali: Oh yeah. She loves it.... Girls! Seriously. Just pick up the cushions and we can go outside. Stop whining.... The whining around here is about to drive me crazy. Even Wes picks up on it and chimes in.

Me: Blythe is getting bad about whining too. Oh. So I'm getting stuff together for her birthday party. Paper plates and stuff are expensive! ... Are you there?

[Dropped call].
[Call back].

Me: Hey. Sorry. Must have lost you. So anyway. I got paper plates and stuff for her party. Target. Super cute but expensive! Where do you get them?

Kali: I usually....Dollar Tree.... General....Target...the cutest....

Me: I can't hear you. Am I cutting in and out?

Kali: No. I have you on speaker because I'm trying to get my makeup done.... There, is this betteR?

Me: Yes. Did you say Dollar Tree? I hadn't thought.... Blythe. It's okay. I promise you have five toes on that foot. Count again... I hadn't thought about checking there.

Kali: Their party supply section is... Oh. Thanks, Wes....He just brought me ALL of my potholders. [Lots of whining and crying and sudden panic in background from girls.] Seriously? Do you want to go outside? Just... 

Me: If you need to go take care of that, that's fine.

Kali: Yeah. I'll call you back in a sec.

[Call back 5 minutes later.]

Kali: Okay. We made it outside.

Me: Becks is asleep. Did they do okay while you were gone?

Kali: They were fine. But they woke up at four. Four A.M. So the whining is out of control.

Me: FOUR?

Kali: Yep. But they did okay. It was our first time at a Bed and Breakfast. We stayed at one just.... Wes! Girls, did you help him up there? ... So. Wes is up on the BIG slide. By himself apparently. I seriously can't keep up with that kid. He is so strong. We stayed at one just twenty minutes away. It was quirky but nice. And the guy that owned it was great.

Me: You guys should go to the.... Blythe. Just ask nicely. Okay. Deep and Wide? [Finding song]. There ya go.... You guys should go to the one we  love when you're here sometime.

Kali: That would be awesome. We thought this one... Oh! Hang on... [breathing heavy]...

Me: You okay?

Kali: Yeah. Wes just ran to the front yard and across the cul de sac.

Me: Good thing he wasn't your first child.

Kali: I may have stopped there....Girls, go ahead and come around here. We can open the garage....yes, Ellie. You can... let me go close the back door. Hang on to Wes, Caroline. ... So, have I told you that Ellie believes she can use Elsa-powers and open the garage door? It's awesome. [clearly running]... I've gotta hurry and get it open... There! ... Yeah! Good job, Ellie! ... Ha.

Me: That's so funny. Well, hey, we are getting close to...oh, Becks just screamed...and is back to sleep. She's nuts. We're almost home so I'll let you go. Oh did I tell you we got a bike for Blythe for her birthday?

Kali: Does she need a helmet? We have several and...Girls! That car is backing out. Come here. Wesley Paul! ...[screaming]... I seriously can hardly hold onto him anymore. He's so strong.... We can't go out there when there is a car...But Caroline had a Dora one that she was still wearing when Ellie got one, but now it's too small. I'll bring it next time.

Me: Blythe would love that... Aunt Kali...I think she just figured out I'm on the phone. Alright. We'll talk again soon.

Kali: Yeah! It was great to finally catch up a bit. Love you.

Me: Love you too.