guilt

Okay. So I needed to make cupcakes for Blythe's birthday party. I had seen some of ^ these fish ones and thought I could probably manage that. So I went to a store that I knew carried the M&Ms that you can buy just one color at a time. Do you know what I'm talking about? It looks something like this:

source

Which, also, is maybe a little bit how heaven will look? I can't be sure but I think I would much rather the streets be paved with gold M&Ms. Just saying. 

Okay. So I run in the store, I keep Becks on my hip instead of getting a cart because this is all I need. Blythe is holding my hand. We locate the M&M aisle. $9.99 a pound for the color dispensed ones. I am terrible with guessing weight and distance and all things like that, so I figure a pound is way more than I will need and fill two bags with orange and blue. Blythe is starstruck by all the chocolate surrounding her, and Becks is getting a bit heavy... like, maybe she feels like she weights six pounds at this point? [< that is a joke about me not understanding weight.] I locate the scale and weigh my two measly bags. 1.1 pound!!!!! What?! I look at the bags. Ten bucks?! For that?! I scan the rest of the aisle and locate a huge bag of M&Ms. It's almost FOUR pounds for the same price. 

I know there are orange and blues in that bag. And I also know that once I sort them, I will have A LOT of M&Ms left over. I grab the bag and....

....

...

I put the other two baggies down on the shelf near the dispensers. 

And. I. Walk. Away. 

Deep breaths. I felt terrible about this. I tried to figure out how to put them back in the dispensers but they were sealed like Fort Knox. My mind was spinning circles: Will they just have to throw these ["$10 worth" of M&Ms] away? Will someone get in trouble for this? Should I ask someone if theis is "legal"? If I ask, will they make me pay for them? 

But I carried my 4ish pound bag of M&Ms, held my nearly three year-old's hand, carried my nearly 11 month old on my hip, paid for the candies, and left the store. 

Those two bags still laying there haunt me. I feel like I kind of broke the law. 

However, I sorted the M&Ms...and maybe ate a 2 or 3, but I can't be sure because I'm terrible with numbers... and had more than enough to make my cupcakes.

Do thinks like this bother you? I guess you could say I'm a rule follower, even when I'm not totally sure what the rules are. But dispensing M&Ms and then not buying them seems like not following the rules.