I am trying...

I just opened my "new post" tab and this big, blank box appeared. And I breathed a deep, cleansing breath. I have missed this big, blank box. I have missed this space. I have missed writing.

But I'm also trying to figure out how to be a present mom, and how to get two girls to listen and obey and love Jesus and maybe, in the process, still like me at the end of the day: me-- the crabby woman grabbing for another cup of coffee who didn't take the time to put on real pants* today and who just used that exasperated voice on you [again] simply because you asked if you could have strawberry milk instead of regular milk [the answer is no, right now, but should I be exasperated that you asked that? No. Sorry. My apologies, I'll try to be better next time].

*to be clear, I view "real pants" as the kind that require buttoning or zipping of some fashion

I'm also trying to survive pregnancy exhaustion [and pregnant women everywhere raise their fists in solidarity].

I'm clearly NOT trying to keep mirrors clean or stop Katniss from practicing her bow skills [see the bow at my feet]

I'm also trying to stay ahead of household stuff like feeding my family [they protest if I skip this step], paying bills [people also protest if I skip this step], and figuring out insurance for next year because, oh hey, FYI "we are no longer offering health coverage next year, " says my current provider.

I'm also trying to do well at my "new" job at our church: I guess I haven't really said much about it here, but I am working part time as the "coordinator of engagement and prayer."

I'm also loving taking more pictures for people, and trying to get pictures edited and back to everyone in a timely manner!  I even saved enough to update my camera. You read that right: not a new lens but a whole new camera. Very big deal.

Also, at 9 oclock this morning while the girls were eating their breakfast [we're late rises...praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost], I took one look at my filthy oven and it tipped me over the edge and I just dove into it. 

So that mess is happening right now. You should have seen my burners. Yikes. It made me think of Grandma Pat because 1. at least 12 times a day I think of Grandma Pat and 2. the day we moved into the house we had a lot of helpful hands on deck, hers being two of them. She manned the stove and she got those burners sparkling and she said, "Now I expect it to look this way every time I come over." Thankfully I knew she was joking because it most definitely did not look like any time she came over. Maybe after today it will. Maybe.

Oh, yes. And I am also trying to get everything updated in baby books for Blythe and Becks so I can begin baby girl number 3's book. I am keeping a "Belly Book" for her, just like I did the others, and so help me I will document this pregnancy and baby. But really, forgive your parents if you were not the first child and they didn't buy you a baby book.

But I want to keep writing and processing here. Hang with me. Maybe someday I'll put on real pants again. But for now I'll write when I can and try to keep my girls from burning the house down...if my dirty oven isn't the first culprit.