23 weeks...I think. I'm all sorts of confused. I'm not sure I figured right and I think I may be 24 weeks? In my Belly Book I have this being the 24th week, but I maybe have that wrong. I know my due date is the 40th week... but does your due date end on the 40th week or begin on the 40th week? Someone much smarter, without pregnancy brain, fill me in! Regardless, I'll keep plugging along with these letters like I was, but I may be a week behind?
I feel like I am fully and completely way pregnant now. I feel you moving frequently, especially at night when I'm laying down, and can even see you make my belly move with your stronger punches. My back feels it by the end of the day, which is earlier than with my other two pregnancies, but I'm also older so I'm not blaming it on you, sweet one.
All I want to feed you is crispy M&Ms. All day long. Every day. I have consumed three of the big bags in about two weeks. Yikes. Your dad got some for my Christmas stocking [smart man], and I knew he had them in the house, so I told him we needed them and that he had time to get another bag to put in my stocking. He relented [smart man] and that bag is already gone. I guess we'll have to wait until Christmas ;).
I told your dad today, "I am so ready to meet this little girl." I love you so much already and I am starting to really long for those first sweet days with you where I just get to hold you and breathe you in and study your little face and try and figure out who you are. I am longing for those days where I get to tell you, "I love you, I love you, I love you" and kiss your tiny, soft lips over and over and over. I am longing to feel your sweet skin and smell you. But I know April will be here before we know it. This winter will be over and there will be new buds on the trees, new calves in the green fields, and in all of that newness I will get to meet you.
Blythe is more and more attached to you know. She counted our family the other day and then realized she hadn't counted you and quickly recounted: "We have FIVE people in our family!" She declared. Five. That number seems so large and I wonder how I'll handle all three of you ladies, but I know God's love is bigger than I am. There is a verse that says, "When I am weak, then I am strong." It's this wonderful truth that means that in my weakness, Christ's strength shows up. I'm sure you'll see me fail and be weak many times, baby girl, but I pray that in those times you also see Christ's power.
Last night, I posted a picture of my pregnant self and wrote these words: It's my third time to be pregnant during the Advent season. I often sit down, exhausted and sore at the end of the day, and think of Mary. She felt the Savior of the world wiggling inside of her. I am often simultaneously terrified and awestruck by pregnancy. How much more intense were these feelings for her? And then, after labor in a barn, she got to hold Immanuel-- God with us. I'm sure she was humbled to tears, but I'm also certain she was overjoyed to finally meet, face to face, the one she had carried for nine months. The humanity of Jesus, and his arrival, are almost incomprehensible. And sweet girl, as we finish this week with Christmas I just want to say thank you for reminding me of the beautiful way in which Jesus came down to us. We love you so much and as much as I long to hold you, I am praying you stay safe and healthy inside for awhile.
I thought it was time for a little comparison-- I pulled these pictures of me at 24 weeks [because I'm so confused]. Regardless, they're close enough.
|With Blythe- 24 weeks|
|With Becks-- 24 weeks|
|With baby #3-- 23/24 weeks|
I told Brent I definitely feel bigger than last time at this point!