Thoughts on Gender

Brent and I have chosen to figure out what our baby’s gender is before birth. Our sonogram date is November 10th. And I feel like the days will crawl by until that appointment.

I’ve thought a lot about what the little peanut [or ORANGE] inside of me is going to be and how that will determine so much about the days ahead of us. It is much deeper than pink or blue, as those of you that have raised both sexes [or been around both sexes] know.

It is amazing all the different ideas out there as to how parents can “plan” or “increase their chances” for having a certain sex. I think all of that is pretty bogus though, as I’ve seen a mighty God changing and shifting things according to His plan all my life.

Brent and I are simply excited to have a child. To create a life is a big, profound, beautiful thing, and the sex of the baby does not change that. However, we have had the “gender talk” [I put that in quotations like it is actually a thing! :-). We both instinctively thought girl at first. Yes, a girl would be perfection. Why? Well for me, I’ve been around little baby girls most of my life, and very few boy babies have graced my presence. I have recently had the pleasure to be around two BEAUTIFUL girl nieces that have won me with their soft pink chinks and coos and girlish ways. Oh… and I am a girl, so I know a thing or two about that. For Brent, he feels that some of his closest relationships have been with girls. He has always been close to his sisters, so he isn’t afraid of girl emotions. And he too has become quite smitten with those two nieces of ours. We thought about bows and dresses and pigtails and little girl giggles, and continued to think…oh the joy that is GIRLS!

But then we started talking about boys. We both eventually want boys, so why not start with one [or two, as my students are convinced I’m carrying twins :)]? Growing up when I would doodle in class and dream of my wedding dress and my future house and eventually my future children, I always wanted to have a boy first because I always kind of wished I had an older brother [not saying I don’t love Kali, but I knew she wasn’t going to “protect” me from other guys the way a brother would]. And what is there not to love about dirt and camo and four wheelers and sports and sweat and slime and….all that. And literally ANYONE I’ve talked to that have raised both sexes say, without prompting, “Boys are WAY easier than girls.” And besides, Brent’s mom is convinced there are 5 boys in our future. And we adore our FIVE nephews.

I know a daughter’s connection with her mother is different than a son’s, but both are equally wonderful. All of this to say, Brent and I realize that we don’t know what we want/need in our life at this point, but God does, so we’ll let Him do the handiwork that he is oh-so-good at.

I have put a pull up on the side bar of this blog where you can VOTE on what you think we’re having [scratch that…what I’M having…Brent will not be the one all THAT in about 5 months]. Just for fun. So do it. I dare you.

And one final note about gender that I am very embarrassed about, but will share anyway: LATE ONE NIGHT [let me emphasize it was AT LEAST 8 o’clock and I was EXHAUSTED :)], Brent and I were having the “gender talk.” I was expressing my inexperience with boy babies in comparison with girl babies. And then I uttered these words: “And ANOTHER thing…I don’t understand a lot about the whole CASTRATION process, so that would be a whole new realm for me.” Yes, I said CASTRATION instead of CIRCUMSICION. Oh my. I realized it about ten seconds after it crossed my lips. [Dear future child: If you are, in fact, a “son,” I apologize profusely at ever uttering such crazy things. I will make CERTAIN that in the hospital you are not castrated. Sincerely, Your Loving, Rambling-of-nonsense, Mother. ] Please do not let this story sway your vote :)


*carrie* said...


I think I cried both times we found out. There's just something about *knowing* that helped me bond more with the baby. I also liked being more directed in getting the room and clothes ready, and only having to think of one set of names.

I voted boy, in "honor" of Nathan. =)

Brent said...

that's funny. I forgot about that story. I voted...but i'm not telling. :)

Barb said...

You just need to remember to keep that part of the anatomy covered when changing diapers...once that cold air hits, you never know what's going to happen!! Scott once got shot in the mouth - in clinic, so it wasn't even his own kid...

Jared & Renae Heesch said...

That is hilarious that you said castration! And really, the circumcision is not that big of a deal at all. And I'm hoping boy so he and Jaden can play. Either one will be so lucky to have you for a mommy!

Micah Wolf said...

you know what I want you to have.....but I vote girl. (secretly hoping I am wrong)
love you!

joanirwin2@gmail.com said...

I am so excited to see what takes place in the Brent & Kelsey family. I know God has much to teach you and show you in the babies to come. I am so thankful for both of your devotion to God that will bless your children. I voted (not telling). I really challenge your readers to trust God and have many children, that's just that we need in the USA. Our legacy is from people who left their country, to live in a country where they were free to worship God. What will we be willing to do to give that kind of legacy to our children? Love Joan