mawiage is what bwings us togever ...

[For those of you that don't know, the above title is not my 8th graders crazy talk rubbing off on me, but rather a reference to one of the best movies ever, "The Princess Bride."]

I have been wanting to write my thoughts about marriage SOMEWHERE for awhile, and thought what better place than here, on this little blog of mine? So here I am, almost 2 years into our marriage, trying to figure out how to assemble words correctly to describe the beauty of this thing that Brent and I have got going on.

On February 8th it will be 6 years since we started dating! [And also my wonderful Grandma's birthday :-)]. Oh what a learning curve it has been. I have tried to simply compile a list of things I have learned, and in the process realized that I will have to bring this to you in two installments. This is for a couple reasons: one reason is that my husband is simply so incredible that I could write about being married to him forever; the second reason is that I want you to actually be slightly interested by the time you finish reading. So let's get started.

Things I have learned/observed/am-still-learning/would-like-to-be-better-at because of my marriage to Brent:

1. The Proverbial Mirror
I'm sure that you have all heard of "the mirror" analogy in a marriage, but it is so incredibly true. I have learned more about myself by my daily interactions with Brent than ever before in my life [although I did learn a lot about myself when I learned it wasn't okay to still be playing Barbies in 7th grade...but whatever]. I have learned I am not nearly patient enough, that I am not nearly humble enough, and that I have a long way to go in the area of "forgive and forget." But let's face it, that is part of the beauty of marriage. Every morning when I wake up and kiss that forehead of his, I am awaking to another day of working on a better reflection.

2. Selfish vs. Humble
I should probably just title this one "Kelsey vs. Brent." I have learned just how selfish I can be, and am slapped in the face with it all the time. I am truly striving to be less selfish and more servant hearted, but it's difficult. For example, I know if we are both comfortable on the couch that Brent won't roll his eyes and make that "huffy" noise if I ask him to get me a glass of water, or a kleenex, or rub my feet.... and that is easy to take advantage of. I'm glad I realize it, and now I must work on not exploiting him...oh and not rolling my eyes and making that huffy noise when he asks me to do something for him :).

3. Marry your best friend but have other community/outlets.
You would think this would be fairly self-explanatory... but it took awhile to learn. I adore Brent. I love to spend time with him. On any given day, he is the one I want to be hanging out with. He makes me deliriously happy and giddy. This is a good thing. But excommunicating ourselves from others is not. We had to learn that it is too much weight to put on the other's shoulders. God created us to live in community beyond our spouse.

4. You will do things differently and it's, big gulp, okay.
Brent doesn't fold his towels like me [because he wasn't in the school of Sharon], and he doesn't plug his cell phone in until it is completely dead, and he doesn't understand the oh-so-important rule of leaving the bathroom door closed completely while in the shower [to retain every ounce of heat]...etc. And it's OKAY. It is Okay. It's okay. It really is.

5. Be silly together.
Every day I come home from work I know that Brent will make me laugh. Most likely he will have me almost in tears, laughing uncontrollably at some point. In our toughest and loneliest times, laughter helped us through.

6. In stillness and in quietness shall be your strength.
This is a verse in Isaiah somewhere. My parents have always had a painting of a loon in a quiet lake with this verse on the bottom. The loon is quietly floating across the water, and when I look at that painting it says: "Peace." Brent is a living example of this verse. And he has taught me oh-so-much...we're talking BOOKS of knowledge!... on this subject.

7. Survival skill #285
Brent's body temperature is usually 20 degrees warmer than mine. Said husband's body, therefore, makes a great feet warmer for my ever frigid and icy toes.

...more to come in installment two....


Sharon said...

Three things:
Isaiah 30:15;
You never folded towels like I wanted you to either (or anything for that matter - and its okay, I still love you!); and
You are truly blessed.

Love you.

Kali said...

We are both truly blessed with wonderful husbands. Although, you definitely got the "strong, quiet type" :-) Also, in reference to the survival skill mentioned, I just referred to Dan as a giant rice bag the other night. I meant it as a compliment, but he wasn't exactly flattered.

Anonymous said...

Kelsey - love it! You pretty well summed it up when you mentioned
Crack me up~ Can't wait for the rest.

Kelly K

*carrie* said...

I love that verse, too, and was going to share the reference, but I see your mom already did! I especially like reading verse 15, followed by verse 18. Powerful!

Thanks for sharing this stuff. E and I have been meeting with an engaged couple this school year, and that's also been a good way to process what I've learned from marriage.

On a different note, it is stinkin' cold here today--there was no school yesterday, and there may not be today!

Barb said...

I'll bet we fold towels the same way...I learned from in school of Lois, who learned from the same teacher that Sharon had!