"become big and write with the whole world in your arms"

The title of this post is written at the very bottom of my blog. Some of you more astute [word of the day on Monday] followers have noticed it, others have not. It is a quote by Natalie Goldberg. I chose it as the title of this post because it fits one of the "resolutions" I have set for myself this year, and that is what this post is about.

I suppose this doesn't need much of an introduction. We all know what resolutions are, and most of us say we don't make any but secretly we do. We just don't tell others because then if we don't follow through it's okay :). Or maybe that's just me. Regardless, here I am, finally, on the 16th of January writing my resolutions.

I wanted to make them realistic. I also wanted to really think about things that will help me be a better wife, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, and follower of Christ. So without further ado:

1. I want to get to know Jesus again. I mean, I know him, and love him, but I want to get back to the point in our relationship where I always feel his presence. I just feel like I've been missing him recently. [And yes, this is the one resolution that is NOT in random order. This is number 1 for 2010].

2. Do something intentionally everyday that is completely, and unselfishly for Brent. I want to have a more serving heart, and this is where I feel it needs to start. This could be a variety of things: buy pineapple [he loves it, I don't], write him a note to find in the morning,wash and fold his clothes AND put them away without being slightly upset that he didn't help with one of the steps...etc. He is the most selfless and serving person I know and I feel so loved by the ways he serves me daily. He deserves the same. And my heart will be better for it.

3. Stop thinking about where I want to be and live where I'm at. No matter where I'm at. This is something I've written about before, and something that I struggle with a lot. Ever since I began college this has been difficult for me, and after every change I regret the way I lived in the places I was placed. Yesterday I had a brief meltdown about my time here in Louisville...crying out of sheer frustration with myself for not investing more. A friend told me that those are tears of unexpected blessings...I didn't expect to be blessed by living here. I just started reading "Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God" [from the same friend who told me the previous statement], and in the introduction the author says, "[We often] just sit and wait for "normal" life to resume. Don't we sometimes feel we are treading water until our "real" life and ministry begin?" Thus this resolution. I don't want to tread water any more, no matter where life brings me next.

4. This is post number 247 since I began blogging. My fourth resolution is to have written at least 500 by the time 2011 rolls around. I want these resolutions to be realistic, and realistically I will not be able to write everyday. So, 253 posts this year seems more doable. 2 days ago I said that writing is cathartic for me, and it truly is. So I want to do it more. I also think that the more I write the better I will become at writing. Like I always tell my students, "If you write everyday you get better at writing everyday." If I expect this of them, I should do this myself. So I want to "become big and write with the whole world in my arms."

5. This is connected to number 2: wanting to have more of a servant's heart. I want to go on a service project or mission trip this year. Whether that means going downtown to help out at a soup kitchen or going overseas to help build houses or love on orphans, I want to be available.

6. I want to complete p90x. Last summer Brent and I started, if you remember, what I deemed "the devil's workout." But I felt so healthy. It is not a workout to necessarily lose weight, but to build muscle and strength and endurance. Something I have missed since my days of high school basketball. We are wanting to start at the beginning of February, and I want to finish this time. [Last time Brent hurt his shoulder about 45 days into it, and without him to help me stay motivated I stopped.]

7. I want to be less of a budget nazi. See post from a few days ago if you have not been introduced to this alter ego of mine. This doesn't mean that I still don't want to be frugal and wise with our money; I believe that is biblical. I just don't want to feel controlled by it, because that is NOT biblical. I want to find the balance. [Soon I will write about my first step in this process].

As of right this moment, that is the main list. Like I said, I want these to be achievable and realistic. If I add too many more I'm afraid they won't be. So there you have it. Maybe I should make a resolution for all of you though out there in blog land:

Comment on Kelsey's Blog more often. [Yesterday I wrote about being affirmed, and I have a feeling that number 4 will be less likely to happen if you don't make this your resolution] :)