coughing

coughing makes me hurt
all over
in my throat
in my chest
in my ears
in my RIBS
in my eyes

it makes people turn away
in disgust
"who is that ugly creature
with the red raw nose
and the coughing
like a beast?"

coughing makes me forget
what i'm doing
makes me shake
from head to toe
makes me sweat
makes tears stream down my cheeks

coughing makes me wish
for spring
for comfort
for water
for rest

coughing
coughing
coughing
coughing

it's exhausting
trying
testing
annoying
humiliating
exhausting

heaven is taking a deep breath
clear through to my lungs
so deep i hit the pavement
of my soul
without

coughing.