1.06.2011

still finding time...

My life lately has seemed to be a non-stop coaster of events. I realized yesterday that I hadn't sat on my own couch since Sunday. THREE DAYS! That is simply unacceptable for this lazy girl.

BUT...

Although I have been snappy at Brent on occasion, have not made as many meals as I normally do, have bags under my eyes, and haven't written on here much, I'm still trying to find time to enjoy "stuff" that is keeping me busy.

For example:
"Stuff" keeping me busy: A new crop of 8th graders in my rotating Lit. Appreciation class.
Enjoyment: They did their first "writers notebook" entry yesterday and I loved hearing and reading what they wrote about. Their stories varied from a boy getting his first Red Ryder BB gun, to a boy reminiscing about building a tree house with his dad and how sad it was to watch the memories he had created there go up in flames last summer when they had to burn it down, to another boy sharing about always racing his brother on bikes and the competitor in him practicing for hours because he wanted to beat him. Even when I think my job is stressful and could drive me to the crazy house, when a student shares his or her writing I remember why I love what I do.

and
"Stuff" keeping me busy: Basketball.
Enjoyment: The investment I get to make in these girls. Spending so much time with the same group of girls is sometimes irritating, but it is also very rewarding. After I coached the first JV game [and the group of girls knew it was my first time coaching a game by myself] we went back to the locker room after a one point victory. As excited as they were about winning, one of them said immediately, "You did a great job, Coach!" And the rest joined in. I waved them off and told them what a great job THEY had done...but was touched at how thoughtful they were in that moment.

and
"Stuff" keeping me busy: Lesson plans.
Enjoyment: This is something that will always be a part of my day. I sometimes long to have a job that I just get to show up for. A boss that would put something on my desk and say, "Do this." I would do what he said. In my job, I can't just decide to show up. If I walk into a classroom unprepared it can turn out deadly. I'm not saying there are not brilliant moments of improvisation, but I have to have something prepared every moment. But the enjoyment, what I love, is seeing something I have created, some crazy idea I have about teaching something, come to fruition and work! I enjoy watching my students enjoy their time in my classroom. And although creating a 50 minute lesson sometimes takes hours...it is usually worth it. :)

and
"Stuff" keeping me busy: The puppy.
Enjoyment: OH WAIT...we don't have a puppy! :) Let me share the story with you [and tell where the enjoyment comes in as well]. As I mentioned in my last post, I told Brent he could pick out a puppy. He was super excited, we looked at a few litters, and bought a pure bred, black and white [reverse brindle], boxer. She was 13 weeks old. Even I, the avid anti-dog person, thought she was ridiculously adorable. Brent brought her home last Friday as planned. He was working so diligently with her. She was afraid to walk through doors and by Sunday was slowly overcoming this because of Brent's patient guidance. She only pooped on the mud room floor twice [and Brent cleaned it up both times]. Brent got up with her in the night and even took her for a jog at 2 in the morning to calm her down and exhaust her back to sleep. And Sunday evening, after many people had met her and agreed with me about her adorable-ness, Brent came to me. He said he had a dream that I had asked him to get rid of her and so he did. We both sat there looking at each other. Eventually...after about a 10 minute discussion...Brent decided that if he was going to exert this much time and energy and discipline towards something he would much rather it be a child. He decided that he like other people's dogs and that would be enough for him. He decided that if I couldn't even pet her without wearing gloves now, that my fears may never me calmed. He decided that if the breeders would take her back, he would gladly hand her back over. I was tired and exhausted and of course started crying, thinking it was my fault and he was giving her up because of me. He assured me it was not. He said we would eventually look back and laugh at the whole thing. He said the only thing holding him back was the embarrassment. But he called the breeder, and 5 minutes later we hopped in the car with Margo [I think that is what we were going to call her. Neither of us felt much attachment to her, and deciding a name was difficult...we thought this may have been a sign too:)], and brought her back. We got home, put the kennel we had just purchased the day before back in its box to take back, and texted a few people and let them know. Not even an hour later we were sitting on the couch laughing about the whole escapade. [Brent even quipped, "I didn't think we'd be laughing about it this soon! This means it was definitely the right decision!"] And you're asking, "Enjoyment? Do tell."

This was the enjoyment for me: My husband is wise beyond his years. He knew that telling people we had given her back may mean they would look at us/him as a "failure." He knew that they may say, "I told you you didn't want a dog! Told you so!" But more than that he knew this wasn't right for us at this time. He knew we had made the wrong choice and instead of saying, "Too late now...oh well!" He fixed it. He didn't care what people would say because he knew it was right. This showed me so much about who he is. And I enjoyed seeing that. I also enjoyed the freedom we felt again after taking her back! We could again leave the house without worrying about anything. Wonderful. [I will post a few pictures though, just so you can see the dog that could have been.]

but wait, there is more
"Stuff" keeping me busy: housework
Enjoyment: Laundry and dishes and cleaning never end. You all know this. But I have learned [most days] to enjoy these small reminders that we have a roof over our head, food to dirty dishes with, and clothes to wear. These reminders that I get to live this wonderful life that I have been given. I also enjoy creating a home with Brent that is inviting and welcoming to others. I love days that I am home and he is at work and I get to clean for hours so that when he comes home it is peaceful for him. I love all of it [but I really don't like dusting... I think this is because Kali said it bothered her allergies so I was always stuck with it :)]

"Stuff" keeping me busy: Holiday get-togethers
Enjoyment: I think this one is probably obvious...but we had a TON of stuff this year and it was so absolutely wonderful to be home and be able to attend anything and everything we wanted to. We got to spend Christmas with both our families, see all our grandparents, AND had time to go to friends' houses. We enjoyed this time so much this year...and enjoyed even more not living out of a suitcase during it all :)

I could keep writing, but I still have "stuff" to attend to. I want to always remember though, no matter how busy or exhausted I feel, to still find time to enjoy what I am doing.

1 comment:

Kali said...

Oh bologna - I always dusted, even if it did bother my allergies! It did possibly get me out of shaking rugs, though. And I still hate to do that.