8.23.2009

post number 200

I can't believe I have reached post 200; and with nothing too important to say at that. As I type this, Brent is in his new favorite spot on the couch, it is in the lower 70s outside (a beautiful day), and I have a cheesecake in the oven for our good friend Justin who has been helping us out a lot lately.

Milestones, even though reaching post number 200 may be a fairly insignificant one, always make me reminisce. Lately I have been thinking a lot about my college days, and although they aren't so far behind me, they seem far enough gone that there is but a hint of the taste of them on my tongue. I remember when I first started writing my blog during the fall of my senior year. My roommates made fun of me, but I felt like I needed an outlet for all of the writing I was doing.

Just this week my college roommate, Renae, said that she was very college-sick as well. She said people going back to school made her wish for those first few weeks where all we had to worry about was how we wanted to arrange our dorm room. She is in a similar situation, married for a year now, moved away from home, and she too feels she didn't soak it up as much as she should have.

I know hindsight is always 20-20, but as a young college student it's hard to believe that late night Perkins runs and conversations around a cafeteria table will ever amount to much in your memory bank. Funny though, how it turns out that those moments are more significant than the degree you obtain. I look back and cherish, and still almost hate, the walks across campus in sub-zero weather, or sharing hot chocolate at a bible study on my wing. It's funny how sharing a bathroom with 30 other women is so frustrating at the time, and how I would go back in a heartbeat to write a note of encouragement to a wingmate on the paper hung up in a bathroom stall.

There are definitely things that I have now that I wouldn't give up to go back, namely Brent, but if somehow miraculously I could have it all, I wonder if I would cherish it more now?

Brent and I went to our first try of a Sunday school this morning. We went with some friends, Eric and Rachel, but as we got our coffee and bagels and found a seat, everyone still seemed pretty distant. We talked about this on the way home, and Brent said he thinks we just don't have the motivation we need to really jump in there as we still just don't quite feel like this is supposed to be permanent. It's a hard balance, because we want to live and love where we're at, but the risk is high when you know it might all change again so soon.

All this to say, it's pretty incredible how much life has been lived between 200 blog posts. It's pretty incredible how much I've had to grow and change and accept so many responsibilities. It's pretty incredible, that all the while God has been right here with me, writing my story long before I ever touch a finger to the keyboard.

My mom sent me some lyrics to an old hymn they sang at church today, and the last verse is a sweet assurance that no matter where life leads, no matter what the next 200 blog posts may read, I have a Savior to follow; a Savior who is leading me:

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best!
'Tis an ocean vast of blessing, 'tis a haven sweet of rest.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, 'tis a heav'n of heav'ns to me;
And it lifts me up to glory, for it lifts me up to Thee.

(And as a preview for a soon to be written post, Brent took me to the driving range yesterday... and we both want to blog our version of that experience. Stay tuned...it just got interesting!)

12 comments:

Kali said...

2 things: 1) This time of year always makes me "homesick" for college. Dan & I have talked about NWC a ton this week, and it's always fun to remember. There were certainly some hard times, but for the most part, it was a brief time where we had lots of freedom, very few responsibilities, and got to live with our best friends. How could one not miss it?

2) I know the feeling of not wanting to invest where you're at - I've gone through that multiple times since we moved here. My advice, for whatever it's worth -- it's worth the investment. You don't know how long God will have you there, and whether it's 2 months or 2 years, that time will be much more meaningful if you allow yourself to invest in others (and vica versa).

Okay, I'm done.

Anonymous said...

Kali said it well. Give it all you've got where ever you are. Invest now cause we never know. The one constant in life is change, like it or not! God knows best.

Kelly K

Carrie Mathison said...

I feel the same as all of you about the school homesickness. It is different and heartwrenching to see everyone returning to school and especially looking forward when my younger sister will leave for college. I feel all the same things you wrote, except your expression of them is writting is by far better than i could ever do. i'm glad i'm not the only one with these feelings as i also am in much the same situation as you and Renae.

Ana-Lou said...

I love reading your blog!

May the Lord Keep you writing and maybe someday publishing your "pen". Much like your fathers' paintings - ;-)!

Don't you think ones' homesickness is just a sweet glimpse of our true longing to be with Abba ultimately? To rememeber where "HOME" is while here on earth is bittersweet but sweet all the same! Those memories of past are what has made YOU who you are. Praise the Lord! I still cherish the "aroma" of all my college memories and the beginnings of newlywed years. For they in and of themselves . . . introduced Kent and I to your now IN - LOVES (Brents' Family - now yours! ;-D ). These sweet relations you have . . . awww part of your "tapestry" of life and what a Beautiful one it is!

During your college years and your courtship . . . I was able to meet you @ Bethy's wedding;a few years later . . . reconnect with Brent during one summer . . . & it was wonderful to hear how HE LOVED you and KNEW you were "THE ONE" while we worked at the same location in a Saint Joseph!!!

Therefore, Bloom Brilliantly where you are in your garden of life! God is developing you and Brent together in a magnanimus way in the now for what fruit lies in your futures for the KINGDOM! Blessings be showered upon you as you remain in the VINE and Bloom!

Lovingly ~
Phil 4:8 "Whatever!" ;-D

Anonymous said...

Can we please go back to eating at the caf and sitting there for two hours talking? I miss that...

Renae

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