a farewell of sorts

A couple months ago I wrote about how Blythe will soon no longer be an only child; how my time with just her is nearing an end. I think every pregnant mother of one goes through this pondering. 

I remember feeling similar things when my pregnancy with Blythe was drawing closed-- knowing that the "honeymoon phase" was over, that BrentandKels would no longer be just two, and knowing that our time together was about to significantly change forever. One of my cousins told me she cried on the way to the hospital with her first, not due to the pain from her contractions, but because she was grieving letting go of it just being her and her husband.  

But then two became three, and that third little person? She wasn't an imposition. She didn't make our marriage less. She made everything about our marriage more and more and more. Loving her has made me love Brent in ways I couldn't have without her. 

And as I am days away from my due date, I'm mainly occupied with thoughts of anticipation to meet my new girl, and trusting that our family of four will fall into place, just as our family of three did.

But as I feel the days of "just three" dwindling, I have lingered longer at night when I sneak in to Blythe's room and plant kisses all over her dreaming cheeks. I whisper that I love her, and whisper prayers of gratitude over how breathtakingly perfect she is to me. 

And then I whisper a prayer that my heart will just keep right on growing. 

And as I sneak back through the twilight of my quiet house, I know it will. 

I know my heart will expand.

I know my love will grow.

Because I know the One who is making this baby inside of me is also making my family on the outside. 

And just like last time, this little girl is going to make our family more and more and more.

Loving her is going to allow us to love Blythe, and each other, in ways we couldn't without her. 

I know it will. 

And I can hardly wait.