Brent is getting ready to go for a SIXTEEN MILE run [!!!!], Blythe is entering the second hour of her afternoon nap, the dishes are done, and I am having a cup of coffee and perusing some favorite blogs while the rain clouds are deciding whether to go or stay a bit longer. 

And I can't help but feel this moment in my soul. Who am I to deserve this life? 

This week included lots of hectic moments: a softball tournament, meetings with our insurance company, buying a new  new-to-us car, sleepless nights due to B's cold, both Brent and I coming down with said cold, more softball games, etc. 

But amidst these moments life was beautiful. 

I stood at first base, cheering one of my girls at bat, and heard my daughter squealing in her nana's lap in the bleachers. 

I had a student post a beautiful poem she had written to my facebook wall,  thanking me for reading all the ones she had written before. 

I had a husband come home from work, and after a busy day himself, walk straight to me, give me a hug and ask, "What can I do to help?" 

I got to practice and laugh in the rain with 21 high school girls. 

I got to drop my daughter off at her grandparents' house and watch them love on her and be delighted in her smiles and noises. 

And last night, I surprised Brent with a date night night to ourselves to run errands, and as we got in the car to leave, he crawled in the backseat. "I just want to look at Blythe a little bit before we drop her off," he said. I listened to the two of them talk during our drive, and then we dropped her off and got back in the car. Brent grabbed my hand and said, "I love our family." 

Me too, Brent. Me too. 

Things aren't perfect: my laundry doesn't always get done, I still am not a fan of nursing, I'm still having issues that pregnancy/childbirth gave me, Blythe often decides she is hungry/tired/needs held right in the middle of trying to make or eat dinner, I snap at Brent for no reason….

Things aren't perfect:  but I am so thankful for the richness of my life. 

I used to be a HUGE Steven Curtis Chapman fan. I mean, HELLO?! who didn't love a guy with three names and frosted tips in the late 90's? [Jonathan Taylor Thomas?] Anyway, he recently came out with a song called "Do Everything." I was bopping along to it in the car the other day, thinking about how it sounded like an old favorite of his, "Dive", when I actually started listening to the lyrics:

Your picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today
Matching up socks
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away

You put a baby on your hip
Color on your lips and head out the door

While I may not know you, 
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you, 
Cause he made you, 
To do
Every little thing that you do 
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

Maybe you're that guy with the suit and tie
Maybe your shirt says your name

You may be hooking up mergers
Cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day

Little stuff
Big stuff
In between stuff
God sees it all the same

Maybe your sitting in math class
Or maybe on a mission in the Congo
Or maybe your working at the office
Singing along with the radio

Maybe your dining at a 5-star
Or feeding orphans in the Myanmar
Anywhere and everywhere that you are

Whatever you do
It all matters
So do what you do
Don't ever forget

To do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you, 
Cause He made you
To do
Every little thing that you do 
To bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace

Taking a break from teaching was a tough decision for many reasons, but a big part was because I felt like people would think, "How could she leave doing something that MATTERS…to stay at home?" 

But I have to realize that EVERYTHING MATTERS as long as I am "telling the story of Grace" with what I do. 

And that is why my life feels so full right now-- because it is colored with His grace--the messy parts and the beautiful parts, the unfilled in parts and the "can life get better than this?" parts. 

I am reminded of one of my Grandma's Schoon's favorite hymns in this moment: 

I sing because I'm happy; I sing because I'm free. 
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. 

So I will change diapers and sweep floors and make meals and teach abc's and coach softball… and in it all try to tell the story of His grace. And in those moments when I feel like what I do is unimportant, or when I feel like I just need a break, or when things are falling apart around me, I will remind myself that this job matters too. 

Today, no matter what you're doing, remember IT MATTERS, and His eye is on the sparrow, so you better believe He is watching you too! And today remember to be thankful for the ABUNDANCE you have in your own life, and forget the imperfections for awhile. 


Micah Hilton said...

What an incredibly beautiful and encouraging post. I'm so glad to call you a best friend. One who always brings me back to center, to the One. Love you, and love that you teach me how to be a godly wife and someday mommy. Miss you. Let's be pen pals again :)

Larissa said...

I love this! That song helped me get through some of the many rough days after deciding to stop seminary to take care of Zoƫ, but I am so grateful for the precious moments I had with her that I would have missed otherwise, and incredibly blessed by a little girl who loves me more than anything.

Thanks for being real, Kelsey, and for writing about your beautiful journey.

momiss said...

Never let anybody tell you that you are not doing important work. NEVER. I say it again because I always found myself to be the most guilty of this. Especially never let yourself think it. That would be the beginning of a downward spiral you do not have to make. Save yourself. I know that you can. ;) Just believe and know that it's mostly all small stuff that adds up to, well, everything.