Baby bump 3: week 31
Oh sweet one. I just love you so much. I told your dad recently that I'm just ready to hold you. Of course, I know you have more time left, and I'll be patient, but I really am just ready. Of course, our house isn't necessarily physically ready for you... but, eh. At the point, I think I could even be okay with that! :)
I'm really trying to take it easy for your sake, but that's easier said than done with your sisters around. I can still carry Becks pretty easily, since she is such a squirt, but I know I shouldn't be picking up Blythe... and yet she is very slow about doing certain things and I just want to lift her up or do it for her or carry her somewhere to speed the process along. But she's learning how to do more for herself and I'm trying to learn patience so that I don't over do anything. We'll be playing something and Blythe will say, "Let's run..." or something like that, and then look at me and say, "Oh. Sorry. You can't do that because baby sister is in your tummy." [Here is an inside scoop though: I wouldn't be running even if you weren't in my tummy ;)].
This pregnancy has been different in so many ways: It has gone incredibly fast. Like, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to still be August. Secondly, I've felt like I can do less but have had to be doing more. Also, with my last two I obviously was excited about meeting them and holding them on the outside, but I was good with waiting it out the entire time. With you though? Oh with you I would have bypassed almost all of this pregnancy, not because it's bad or because I don't like being pregnant, but because I just want you. I want those quiet days in the hospital. I want the slow weeks following your birth. I want the warmth of you against my chest. I want to watch you grow. I want to hear your little sqwauks.
But we have several more weeks together like this, and I will relish all the parts of this part of the journey as well: the movement only you and I share. When I'm having a conversation with someone and get distracted by your hiccups. Knowing that I can't drop you or forget to feed you/change you, but that I'm just doing my thing and God has orchestrated this amazing way for my body to just take care of you. Yes. I want to meet you on the outside, but I do love this pregnancy journey and getting to know you on the inside too.
Inside or out, I love you dearly and deeply, baby girl.