9.21.2013

a dream

No, this is not going to be me talking about an inspiring dream I have for the future, but rather about a literal, middle-of-the-night, I-was-drooling, dream.

If you specialize in interpreting dreams, please pay close attention.

I walked into a very large church building. I realized quickly that this was my church that I regularly attended [in the dream]. I knew the people around me. I seemed involved and so forth. And that is why it didn't strike me as odd, at all, when I noticed that at each end of every pew was a Diaper Genie.

Okay. I'm going to pause here in case you don't fully understand what a Diaper Genie is.

[all of the following pictures are from googleimages]

This is a Diaper Genie:


Personally, I think they are a must have for a nursery because, well, have you smelled what comes out of babies? It really does contain MOST of the stench.


Mine has a nifty foot pedal, and all of the diapers drop into the sealed off bag.


When the bag is full, or it's trash day, you simple open it up, cut the bag with the built in cutter, and tie off the stinky treasures within and pull down the refill for the next delights.


The only thing that isn't great is you have to buy these suckers…but I just put them on birthday and Christmas lists and that has worked out well so far!
 And last but not least, you must realize that there are various Diaper Genies, as well as various diaper pails that perform similar tasks. These make an appearance in my dream:



 Okay, now that you are well-versed in Diaper Genies…back to dreamland:

The pastor preaches for awhile, and then before I know it the offering plate is being passed around and I know that this is my cue; this is when I'm supposed to fulfill my role in the church. I quietly slip from my pew and proceed down the aisle. I stop at the end of the first pew, flip open the Diaper Genie positioned there, cut the bag inside, tie it off, and move on to the next. I work my way up and down the aisles, performing my holy task at the inside and outside of every pew. In the end I have a large LARGE pile of diapers in blue bags, and I haul them out to the dumpster. 

Soon church is ending and I notice people have to shimmy kind of funny around the diaper pails at the end of their pews. I make a mental note and save this for the meeting we are going to have right after church. 

There are now about 20 of us dispersed in the pews and our pastor is back up front conducting a meeting. At some point it is my turn to talk. It's about to get controversial people because I suggest…GASP!…. that we eliminate all of the older types of diaper pails we are currently using and only keep our Diaper Genie Elite pails [the kind with the foot pedals and cutter inside]. I continue my speech by saying that one thing that drew me to this church was the fact that immediately upon entering the sanctuary I could tell it was a kid friendly congregation due to the diaper pails. However, I thought that one on the end of EACH row was a little excessive, and each Sunday I usually only removed one or two diapers from each pail [let that sink in a minute!]. Therefore, I suggested we not only update to the Elite pail, but only put them at the ends of every other row. 

I was obviously nervous while making this suggestion. After all, this is how it had been done for a long time at this church. But most everyone agreed. So I was then in charge of collecting all the older pails and finding homes for them, and reorganizing the Diaper Genie Elites to their proper locations. 

The end.

What?

I know this probably means I'm changing too many diapers but that's a weird dream, right?  



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1 comment:

momiss said...

Well, I enjoyed that dream very much. It does occur to me that you may feel a little.......under utilized in your "role" right now, and school did just start, but I think a day unto yourself might do you a world of good. 4 hours at least. And it should be somewhere that Diaper Genies are not allowed.
Chin up Buttercup. ;D