Today has not been the day I was prepared for. You know you've all been there-- you crawl in bed the night before, knowing just what will happen on the other side of sunrise.

This was how today was supposed to go:
- sleep in a bit [HUGE treat for Kels]
- wake up, slowly get ready, enjoy breakfast
- head to town for my Doctor's appointment at 10:30
- grab a bite for lunch and head back to school for my afternoon classes
- get a little caught up on grading while my students make use of a AR Reading day

This was how today ACTUALLY went:
- slept in a bit [still a HUGE treat]
- woke up, got ready, enjoyed breakfast
- went to town for my 10:30 Dr's appointment
- waited, waited, waited
- wondered why I was having to wait so long
- waited some more
- finally got called into room around 11:30, thinking "It's still okay, these appointments take literally 5 minutes, I'll still make it back before my sub takes off for the afternoon."
- nurse finishes her business, basically tells me she hates when patients don't tell her the name of the baby [not budging], then says the Dr. will be in in a moment
- I text someone at school and let them know I may be cutting it close but should be good
- I wait, and wait, and start to get a little stressed, and then wait, and start to get really upset
- It is now almost noon and I know I won't make it back to my classroom by 2:20, which forces me to have to take the whole day instead of just a half day. I text and get all of THAT straightened out right as my Dr. walks in.
- She can most likely tell I'm holding back tears. She asks how I am doing. And so I tell her. Yikes.
- She immediately begins while we talk, apologizing and telling me in the future if I EVER am having a scheduling conflict and it's past my appointment to just stick my head into the office and let them know and she will come see me RIGHT then etc. She also tells me that when I schedule my next few appointments at the front window to tell the nurses/receptionists that she WILL see ME after FOUR so I don't have to miss work. [She had told me this before but the ladies at the desk seemed to always find a conflict…I.E. I think they didn't want to schedule me after four so that they could ensure they got to leave by 5].
- She listened to the heartbeat, told me baby girl is head down, just as I suspected, said everything looked great, apologized again, and sent me on my way.
- I double checked that everything was good to go at school. I now had to take a full day, because if I went back I would have docked pay anyway. Not a big deal…but that's a half day maternity leave now gone.
- I try to make it to my car before crying. Tears of frustration. Frustration and a big of anger. Not how my day was supposed to go.
- SOOO…I run some errands--it's a GORGEOUS day, can't complain-- come home and start laundry and dishes etc.

I remember a professor in college who, anytime anyone cancelled an appointment with her or her schedule got switched around, she didn't complain. She had every right to complain, but didn't. One time I fell asleep and missed an appointment with her. I immediately called when I woke up, apologizing over and over, and she simply said, "It's okay. We'll reschedule. I just see it as a GIFT OF TIME I didn't know I would be given today."

I never forgot this, and I found myself thinking of it again today as I cried my tears of frustration. Yes, this wasn't how today was supposed to go. Yes, I didn't get a few things done I would have liked at school. Yes, I know am a half day shorter on maternity leave than I would have been. BUT, I was given a GIFT OF TIME I didn't know I was going to be given. So I tried to "put on my big girl panties" as my mom would say, treated myself to a Frosty at Wendy's, and tried to enjoy the rest of the day. I even fit in a brief conversation with my sister. And tomorrow school will continue and all will be okay.

AND not only was I given a gift of time, but my coworkers were awesome in figuring out how to help me out since my sub couldn't stay the entire day. AND my baby and I are healthy. Really, in the end, being frustrated by an unexpected delay and 1/2 a day lost is NOT a big deal.

Sometimes it is difficult to see life as anything less than a calendar or clock. But we enjoy it so much more when we simply think of it as life. And when we realize it is ALL a gift that has been given to us.


*carrie* said...

I've so been there with the waiting. Glad you could redeem the day!

jenny said...

Hey Kelsey!
Thanks for commenting on my blog a million years ago! :) I read your blog too, every now and then. Yes, we both love books/reading/writing. Such a great thing... :)

Ugh. I had this happen to me once (waiting FOREVER at the OB) but, fortunately for me, it was with my 1st baby and I wasn't working at the time. Frustrating.

Take care and I look forward to "meeting" this sweet girl of yours!!

jarcher said...

Great reflection on the day. I've never thought about that before. Glad everything is going well with the baby! Have a wonderful day Kels!!

momiss said...

Good on you for turning lemons into lemonade.
It breaks my heart that girls your age have to travel so far to do what comes naturally. It is for this reason I predict a huge swell of midwives soon.
Good luck!