some advice for sleep-lovers

If you don't know this about me: I am a sleep-lover. Like, LOVE to sleep, if I don't get at LEAST 8 hours I'm a grump, sleep-lover. In college I learned the hard way the importance of sleep when I got mono [but that's another story for another day, I suppose]. After the mono occurrence my sophomore year, I was not your typical college student when it came to sleep. Sure I still would sleep in until noon if my schedule allowed, but I'd try to be in bed for sure by midnight most nights [I know, I KNOW, that's not early but COLLEGE?! Yes, it's early]. I'm not a big napper, but if I don't get at least 8 hours, you better believe I'm willing to rock the nap if I can.

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I can stay up decently late [read: rarely if ever past midnight], but typically I'm in bed by 10, 10:30 at the absolute latest. If I have to get up any time before or near 7, those nine hours of sleep BARELY seem like enough. Most days I get a solid ten hours. And still don't want to get up in the morning.

Some may see this as lazy. I think it's just part of my makeup.

But I promised advice, so here it is:

If you are a sleep-LOVER, especially to the degree described above, you should marry someone who is not.

Now before you get all up in arms and shout, "But EVERYONE likes sleep to SOME degree!" let me clarify: marry someone who can function normally on about 6-7 hours of sleep per night MAX.

Why? Well here are some of the biggest perks:

1. Your spouse will let you sleep in on the weekends while he/she tends to the kids for awhile. Jr. wakes up at 8? Not a big deal to them. They can pop right out of bed and have pancakes flying in no time while you're still trying to remember what day it is and who you are.

2. You always get to maximize your sleep time because they don't mind showering first. You both need to be out the door by 7:30? He or she pops up at the first sound of the alarm and is through the shower and fully dressed before you even realize you've hit the snooze five times.

3. They can perform errands etc. to save you time, therefore allowing you to sleep in. They get the coffee going and take your car up to the gas station to fill it up for your commute to work, all before your feet hit the ground and you realize that somewhere in your slumbering you lost a sock.

Now, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't talk about a few of the downsides, just to be fair:

1. Your non-sleep-LOVING/needing [because let's face it, for you it is a NEED] spouse will make you feel like a bum. Not because they say that to your face [or let's hope they don't anyway, cause then you may have entirely different problems], but because they have clocked a ten to eleven mile run and eaten breakfast and showered before you've even gone to the bathroom or put a bra on.

2. If you are running late for something, it is inevitably ALWAYS going to be your fault. Seriously, it will be. Just take the blame as graciously as you can and know that those 10 extra minutes of sleep were worth it [usually].

3. You don't really ever get to use the excuse, "I'm tired." Just trust me on this one. It may backfire. Don't believe me? Okay. Try it. Tell your spouse that got 6 hours of sleep last night and then got up with the kids two hours before you did that you're tired. See what happens. [Unless you're pregnant: then that trumps everything and you can dance through the house shouting "I'm tired! I'm tired! I'm creating human life!" and there won't be a thing he can do about it ;)].

Now for those of you sleep-LOVERS that have already married another sleep-LOVER. I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sure there is a constant battle over who gets to grab a few extra zzz's on Saturday after the kids are up, and I'm sure the battle for the second shower is an intense one. When Brent and I lived in Kentucky I had a longer commute than he did, plus I had to be at work earlier. This meant some days he was still asleep when I left. I remember telling him that so many times when I tiptoed through the dark and then bent down and kissed him and told him goodbye, I was literally SO MAD at him. Because he was sleeping and I WAS NOT! He could not stop laughing when I told him that. But it was the truth. The rolls are reversed now, and I don't know that he has ever resented me for being asleep when he tells me goodbye.

So again I say: marry a non sleep-LOVER. Just trust me on this one. You'll be so thankful you did.

And I will leave you with this:

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