I realize that I graduated from high school only eight years ago, but that seems like a fairly significant amount of time. In that time I thought I would have figured out some basic life things.
For example: Makeup. Is it just me or do you also feel like every other adult woman actually understands makeup. They know what colors, brands, brushes, etc. to use. And here I am, still dabbing and smearing on essentially the same stuff I wore 8 years ago. Do I just not care? Or do I really NOT GET IT? I mean, I can put on eyeliner and mascara and make it look okay, but haven't figured out how to do anything spectacular with my makeup. Particularly my eye makeup. Every day I put a little Mary Kay shadow on, possibly some eyeliner, a little mascara, and I'm done. For every day, that is good enough for me. But then when a special occasion rolls around, or I just want to look a little FANCY, do you know what I do? I put a little Mary Kay shadow on, possibly some eyeliner, a little mascara, and I'm done. I've got no game when it comes to makeup- no tricks up my sleeve. I really thought this would be something that I would figure out more as I got older, but I just keep going back to the same makeup aisle.
Another example: Shaving. I thought that as I aged, my time shaving would decrease. I figured, "Hey, the more you do something, the quicker you become." FALSE. Shaving takes the same amount of time as it did in high school….actually, that's a lie too because it probably takes a little longer as my thighs' girth increases a bit. It is true that I don't care as much, so I may not be as meticulous [read: I rarely take the time to REALLY shave my knees or ankles. What's the point. That's just asking for blood]. But it takes the same gosh dern amount of time. That's okay though…I make up for it in my makeup routine.
And finally: driving a stick. I attempted to learn how to drive a stick when I was 16. I could putz around town okay…if I didn't have to stop. But once I figured out it didn't really offer me any benefits in life, I decided I could put off learning until I was an adult. After all, I thought, things like this are probably much easier to learn as an adult, especially since I'll have been driving for much longer then. FALSE. Not only do I still not know how to drive a stick [small town kids everywhere shudder], but I have FORGOTTEN the little that I did know way back when. Putzing around town would not even be an option anymore. Some things do not come more easily with age.
Maybe I just have to wait a few more years before I can figure out how to apply blush properly, or how to navigate ankles with a razor just a bit faster, or shift gears manually. I doubt it…but here is to hoping.
*an additional note: I'm not even going to get started on hair. Kali JUST TAUGHT ME [last week], how to use a blow dryer to help "style." WHO KNEW?! Did I just miss classes on these things or did I just not care enough when I was a teenager? Did I work too much on perfected my free throw shooting when I should have been manipulating makeup brushes and blowdryers? Lucky for me, Blythe doesn't have any hair so at least I can't mess hers up!