not writing?

Well, I started out well--I was strong and I fought through the temptations to not write. But then I started writing a lot and it turned into stuff I don't want to publish on my blog just yet [think revision...and christmas]. I promise you I will share my writings/musings/thoughts when the time is right, but for now I felt like I needed to give you an explanation.

In other news, I got my packet for student teaching last night at a meeting. That was weird--not the meeting so much as getting the packet. In this packet are 3 folders for teachers I will be working with, containing observation reports and checklists and requests for letters of recommendation [yikes!]. The reality is setting in that I am really going to be doing this...I am really going to be teaching soon.

I know deep in my being that this is what I want to be doing...that this is what I'm meant to be doing. I have videos of me teaching when I was 8 years old, alone in my room with stuffed animals and a chalkboard [these are really funny to watch]. I know how much I love being in front of students and how much it means to see them "click" with something.

But there is a part of me that winces when I think about turning in the pink sheet in the back of my packet--the pink sheet entitled "Record of Student Teaching" that I was informed, last night, is vital to my graduating. Why is this? I think it is several reasons...I think it is knowing that this part of my life is done. This part that I've hated and loved and wrestled with and grown through--- When I hand in that pink sheet I am in turn handing in a part of my childhood.

I know I will be a good teacher and I think to go into this profession you must know that one simple truth. I know it might take me a little bit to get there, but I know I am capable. And I know I want to be a teacher. And I know I will let go of that pink sheet at the last possible moment.