Blythe is FOURTEEN!

Dear Blythe, 

As I watch you get older-- more beautiful, more confident in who you are, more...everything--  I am often tempted to be sad about it. As wonderful as you are, as a mother there is often an ache that resides in my guts as I think about you getting older. When I look at you, you aren't just 14: you are the curious two year old, the creative four year old, the happy-go-lucky eight year old, all wrapped in one. And so I look at you with nostalgia for that version of Blythe, while still celebrating the beautiful you that is in front of me. And then I realize: it is all a gift. Getting to watch you grow--getting to spend even one more day with you-- it is a gift. And so, instead of feeling a little sad, I feel profound gratitude at this life with you, and there is nothing but celebration in my heart as I get to watch you turn 14. 

This was your first full year in your teens, and it was beautiful. You did it with a lot of grace. I remember reading this line this year in a novel, describing one of the young characters. It said, "She was at an age when the future adult rattles the child's bones like the bars of a cage" (The Great Circle, Shipstead).  That feels like such an apt description, as I often watch you navigating that line between childhood and adulthood. It's such a weird space: one moment you're running through the back yard with your siblings, carrying sticks and making up a game with and for them, and the next you're telling them to get out of your room because you just want to sit and read or crotchet and be by yourself. This year when I was teaching poetry to freshman (just one year older than you), so many of them wrote poems about missing childhood; they wrote about being sad they didn't realize it was the last time they were going to go to the park or hold their dad's hand to cross the street. We're never really taught how to grieve leaving childhood behind, are we? But as you turn 14, and the "future adult rattles" inside of you, remember this: never losing the ability to see the world with childlike wonder is a rare and beautiful thing. We always joke about you not letting go of "goofball island" (like in Inside Out), and you haven't yet. Don't lose it. There will be things you grieve about leaving behind in childhood as you step more into adulthood, but I have no doubt, with your creativity and joy for life, you will find ways to continue to find wonder and fun at every turn. 

Ever since you were three years old your hobbies have been vast and numerous, and that has not seemed to change as you've aged. You are always willing to try new things, meet new people, and pick up new skills. This will serve you well in life. This year you really fell in love with crochet. You've dabbled with it off and on for a couple of years, but this year you would work for hours and hours on a project. For Christmas you worked so hard on gifts for everyone, and you made Becks and Nan amazing chunky blankets for their beds. The coolest though, was that you figured out how to make Sloan a whale shark, because that was what he was into. It turned out so great, and you've since made a lot of other animals and made ma hanging plant pot! Incredible. I think you crocheted a little gift for nearly every girl in your class this year on their birthday, too (this reminded me of when you made a perler bead creation for all your classmates in second grade-- such an example of YOU: creativity and your thoughtfulness for others.) Your beautiful heart was on full display in this, too, when you made sure to crochet something for one of the girls in your class who is often overlooked by others. You knew something she liked, and made it just for her. I'm sure this meant more to her than you even realized, but it also meant a lot to this mom to know you really SEE and care for everyone.  There was even a boy in your class who was being ornery and you were telling me about it one day, and then you said, "But I think he has a good heart deep down." You truly see everyone with the eyes of Christ. 

 The other amazing thing you've worked diligently on is your book, "Sparking Sunrise." You have filled countless notebooks, endlessly scrawling. Now you've begun typing it and I hope to help you "publish" it soon. You also still really enjoy basketball and golf, and you are looking forward to playing golf for the school next fall (you got nice set of golf clubs for your birthday). And I would be remiss to leave out one of your other great loves: getting to sleep in whenever possible :) We are also hoping to get you into swim team this year, as you have always loved swimming and want to try it, and we agree it would be a good fit for you. You are also incredible and patient with little kids, and you are really hoping to snag more babysitting jobs in the future :) 

This year you also made a pretty mature decision when you realized you could actually play drums more if you quit band and joined the chapel band team. As an 8th grader you led the whole secondary school in worship on the drum set many times this school year, and you always looked chill and like it was no big deal. You even got to play the box drum during a worship set at church. You amaze me with this talent, as it is so far outside of anything I am capable of, and I am grateful that you and your dad can geek out together ofter drum solos in songs that mean nothing to me ;). However, having BOTH of you banging mindless tunes on the table at supper is a bit much sometimes. Ha! Beyond these hobbies and talents, your main love in life is still reading. You will sit outside for hours and read and read and read. Obviously this is a passion you and I share, and so it is super fun for me to see you jump into books with the same voracity I always have. This is another skill that will serve you well in life, as I have found those who love reading are constantly curious and constantly learning new things. You've also found a group of friends who share this love of reading, and it's so fun to hear you all talk about what books you're loving. 

One day you and I got to go out for a quick supper together and just hang out for a bit. We walked around Target and laughed together. On the way home I told you this and I mean it sincerely: You are simply so much fun to be around. You are easy to hang out with. What a treat that is to all who know you, but especially to us, your family, who get to be with you all the time. I was lamenting to a friend recently about how much time I have to spend driving you guy all around to all your different practices etc, and as someone with older kids who are in late high school or college, she wisely told me to enjoy the time in the car to have conversations because soon that window of time with you will be gone. It's hard to believe but in two short years you'll drive yourself to most things. So I am trying to relish the little bursts of time we get in the car with one another. 

One of the ways I saw you grow the most this year was in your ownership and maturity of your own faith, and in your responsibility overall. It was like one day you just flipped a switch (I know this isn't true, as growth always happens slowly over time in each of our own hearts, but on the outside looking in, this is what it appeared like :)). For most of this school year you set your alarm WAY bright and early (long before I was getting up!), and you had a whole routine: You'd get yourself a little lemon water, a little coffee, and you'd go to your chair in your room and read your Bible and journal. Man what joy there was to see you desire this for yourself. Studying the Bible and getting to know our good God through its pages has truly been one of the greatest gifts of my life, and if you accomplish nothing else in this life but loving this good God too, your life will have been well spent. After you read your Bible you'd do a small stretch/workout before getting ready for the day... and making your bed! I mean, who is this person?! ;) Like I said at the beginning, sometimes I lament all of you getting older, but it is things like these where I realize God is maturing you and growing you into such an amazing woman, and I should rejoice in this process. 

Blythe, you are steady and kind, goofy and joyful, smart and creative. You are such a mix of so many amazing qualities, and getting to watch you step more into who God is making you each and every day is gift I never want to take lightly. Thank you for all the ways you've made parenting so easy for us. I know being the oldest has been frustrating for you at times-- you have shared that you often feel like there is so much weight on your shoulders because of it. Remember, we never expect you to be perfect. You are not responsible for your siblings' behaviors, and you're allowed to make mistakes. As you step into high school this year, you'll have so many opportunities to choose the good, to shine your Light, and to forge your path a little further in this wild forest of a world. Like Dad's song for you says: You're our beautiful, wonderful, silliest girl. We love you so much. 

As always: your dad and I hope you understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our life home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was grace that held us together' that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all. 

Happy fourteenth birthday, Blythe Kathleen! We will always come for you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you!