Sloan,
Four years ago when I headed to the hospital to give birth to my first son, I was still wondering if you would be born and the sonogram would be proven wrong. Having spend over six years only raising girls, I simply wasn't convinced you'd actually be a boy. And then Dr. Costa laid a chunk, auburn-headed boy on my chest, and I forever had a son in you. I think I've already told you this, but in that first moment you reached up and grabbed my chin. I should have known then just how entrenched in your heart my own would become.
I was looking back at pictures of you, as mother's are want to do on birthdays, and I was shocked to see how much you've changed since your three-year-old photographs. You just look older, even though day by day I hadn't much noticed. However, even though you're a year old, you're still the same silly, joyful, rambunctious Sloanie-ba-donie we all know and love. You are still obsessed with vehicles. One day I gathered rocks, pebbles, sticks, mud, and sand for you in our driveway. You had all your construction vehicles at the ready, and I suggested you make a road. Immediately you said, "I can't make a road! I don't have a grader!" Do you think I knew what a grader looked like before you came into our lives? Of course not. But I do now. And apparently you do need one to make a good road.
We have so many nicknames for you, because you just seem too big a personality to only have one name [though Sloan Lee is a pretty great one]. Your dad calls you Bubby. Most people call you "Sloanie-ba-donie" or "Sloanie-boy" or "Sloanie-pony." Your sisters call you "buddy" most of the time. Lately though you've dubbed yourself "The Big Red Bluster" after we watched a movie called "The Sea Beast." It seems incredibly fitting. I feel like you're just one of those guys that will continue to accumulate nicknames for the rest of his life.
You don't know a stranger. I know that is probably an overused statement, and it may not be the safest quality for a kid to possess, but it's so fun to watch you make friends everywhere we go. We recently visited Uncle Scot and Aunt Rian, and one evening we went to get snow cones. A group of high school students came right after we arrived, and all of a sudden I looked over and you were playing corn hole with a few high school boys you didn't know. Your dad and I joked because he said that if he ever had a boy he hoped he would have my personality, and I think he maybe got more than he bargained for in that deal ;). We love that you're so friendly though. You enjoy telling stories to anyone who will listen, and you're always up for fun. In fact, sometimes after you've been dismissed from the table, the rest of us will still stay and chat and inevitably something will make us laugh. At that point you'll come running back into the room, jump up on your table, and start laughing with us. You have no idea what was said that was funny, but you couldn't possibly miss out on the opportunity to laugh with us.
Your sisters are pretty great towards you. You needle them, wrestle them, and whine at them until you can usually convince them to play whatever it is you want to play [cars. It's almost always cars]. However, when they are at school you do a good job of playing by yourself. You enjoy looking at books, or listening to my old [old] books on tape. And, of course, you love being outside. You love to check the cows with Richard, or play in the pool, or jump on the trampoline, but you also like to just run around and be outside. Your favorite outdoor activities usually involve mud, dirt, or puddles. And I'm totally okay with that as you are totally washable. You jump all into things, and yet there is a gentle cautiousness about you as well. These are interesting juxtapositions, but I think they combine for a pretty cool kid.
A big, HUGE accomplishment this year was potty training. You struggled, but we finally got there. Way to go, bud. Speaking of potty training, you're at such a fun age for funny things you say. Once [after many months of struggling], you went number two and then looked down in the potty and said, "Isn't it so beautiful?" After over half-a-year of struggling with you, I had to agree it was very, very beautiful. Once day you didn't want to eat the lunch I had set out for you and I reminded you that you had just told me you were hungry. You quickly responded, "I'm not hungry about lunch-- I'm hungry about chips!" Every night when your dad puts you to bed and is walking out of your room, you look at him and say, "Don't forget your heart" [at which point he pretends to give his to you]. Then you say, "I will keep it safe." Then I will whisper, "You're my favorite boy." And you'll say, "You're my favorite girl" Unless you're being silly, then you'll say, "You're my favorite boy, too." Or, your favorite, "You're my favorite Zubblewump." You're such a tender, sweet boy and we adore this about you. However, I'm not sure your theology is quite correct yet, as you once told me, "Jesus died me on the cross so I could have a mommy." But it still felt like a sweet sentiment. And the other day you ran inside shouting, "I need a drink! I need a drink really bad! I need to be cold in my body!" You do tend to expect immediency with your requests.
Our two most recent favorite stories to tell about you have to do with swords and flies. Your PopPop gave your dad a pretty cool sword for Christmas. You saw it in our room and asked me, "Is that for Daddy to kill people?" To which I, of course, adamantly responded, "No! Daddy won't every kill anyone." "Cause he's their best friends?" you asked. "Yes," I said. "And you won't kill people either, right?" Without pause, you said, "Yeah... cause I don't have a sword." :) The other story we like to tell happened when I was driving you all somewhere. There happened to be a fly trapped in the van with us. Nan asked, "Do flies bite people?" I off-handedly responded, "Most flies don't. Some flies do." You immediately demanded to know: "Is that a MOST fly?!" :)
You've grown a lot this year. beyond potty-training and funny quips, you're a sweet boy who loves to keep busy, run around, and make friends. You love "church days" when you get to go play with all your friends at church. You still nap hard, but you hit the ground running each morning. You're our caboose, Sloan. And I always thought the caboose looked like the most fun car on the train. For awhile I thought you seemed like so much light and joy in our lives because of the hard season we just stepped out of before having you when we lost your sibling, Jordan, to miscarriage. But now I know the truth: light and joy is just who you are. This is a beautiful thing, Sloan. As you continue to grow, we pray you continue to be those things to others around you, and that you press into the only true source Light and Joy-- Jesus-- as you go throughout this life.
With the big girls at school, you and I have lots of adventures together. I wouldn't have it any other way. You're the best Big Red Bluster I know. Thanks for being so much fun to be around, and for holding my hand tightly still while I sing you "Stop Your Crying." Always, Sloan. Always.
And like I end every birthday note: Your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safety in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was Grace that held us together; that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all.
Happy fourth birthday, Sloan Lee! There is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you!
