Becks Lynae,
I got behind at writing you this letter this year. You have been seven for a month now. I keep telling myself I haven't written it because we've been busy with vacation and ball, but I think the reality is more that when I think about writing this I don't know how I will ever capture the spirit of who you are right now. To write ABOUT you, TO you, is a tall task when one is as unique as you are, but I will do my best to put in words all you are right now.
When I think of who you were just two years ago, to who you are right now as a bursting seven year old, I am amazed at how much you've grown and how you've pushed yourself to try new things. When you began school you were hesitant and reticent. You always like to learn, but your fear of trying new things or failing at something in front of others held you back considerably. However, this year I saw you slowly but surely push back against those things. You had some phenomenal and boisterous friends that encouraged you and [literally] held your hand along the way. In the year between your 6th birthday and now, I have watched you begin to peel back some of your shell to try new things and find your own voice in a public setting. Your reading took off and your friendships deepened. You no longer needed Blythe to do everything with you. I'm excited to see this new confidence continue to grow.
You still come alive in a pile of mud. Many times I'll be walking around outside our house and I will see two little foot prints in a section of mud and I don't have to ask because I know they are yours. We were able to go on our special hike again in Colorado this year, and I will always remember how you just COME ALIVE when we take to the trail. You seem to like to physically exert and challenge yourself, and you're determined in the next year or two to hike Twin Sisters mountain with your dad. Knowing your determination and inability to give up when you've set your mind to something, I have no doubt that you WILL summit it.
Speaking of your inability to give up ;), while you may be reticent in public settings you are anything but at home. You still like to push your sister's buttons, knowing just what words or actions will cut the deepest. Your dad always jokes that if we walk in a room and someone is crying and you are smiling, we can be sure exactly what happened. And I'm sharing this with you not to say "oh look at how mean you were..." but to remind you of what I always do in these moments: knowing what drives other people's feelings in any given moment is a gift, and you must learn to use it for good. I see you making strides in this direction, so we will just keep reminding you in these moments ;) What a gift to be able to intuit the emotions of others. You're going to do incredible things with this. When you were two I was once sick and laying on the couch. You went and got your blankey, gave it to me, and then stood next to me and held my hand for 20 minutes. This is the same gift that gets you in trouble with your sisters because you know just how to manipulate their emotions, but I know that as you grow and we push you and the more you lean in to Jesus and His ways, that you will come back to that little two year old hand in mine, using your feeling heart in ways to serve and love others.
You still love pretty things and notice beauty easily. Which is why it was no surprise when, for your birthday present, you told us you wanted to get your ears pierced! It was a memory I will never forget-- holding your hand in that seat in the mall, you squeezing my fingers as you looked in the mirror. You were scared but not scared enough to say no. The end goal was what you wanted and you were going to tough it out no matter what. What a champ. You've always been a very tough kid, so we know if you cry when you're hurt then something is very wrong! So it was no surprise that you gritted your teeth and took the piercings like a champ. And you love them now. I'm sure throughout the years you will always want to accessorize to match whatever outfit you are wearing, and you make sure I do the same right now. Last October you came home with a little ziplock baggie on which you had written, "I love you mom." Inside were some "jangely" Chrsitmas earrings for me that you had purchased with "money" you'd earned in class. You-- the girl with the iron-will that I used to battle all day to simply put on a pair of pants. The girl that I sued to put on the dryer for timeouts because you wouldn't sit for me anywhere else. The girl that I had to "cage" in at bed time. THAT girl-- you-- stood outside of herself and chose to use her earnings for someone else... and you chose me of all people. I feel like you and I have a special connection because of our time in the trenches of your toddlerhood together, and this gift showed me that I think you feel it too.
I really love this age that you are. You are learning so much, and teach us things all the time. Plus, you can play "big people" games, ride your bike, read books, and take a shower by yourself. It's fun to get to this point! And yet you also don't know ALL the words for things, yet you know enough to just keep talking. A couple examples: We were watching the cows in the pasture out back and you said, "You know the puffy cow with the big gutters?" O But one of my favorites may have been when we were watching the new, live-action Cinderella. She comes walking up the stairs to the palace in her new gown, and I thought you were going to make a comment about how beautiful she looked, but instead you were apparently taking in her very prominent chest and said, "Why are her bumps showing?" Oh Becks, it's never dull with you around.
You learned how to ride a bike this year, read chapter books, and cut veggies. You lost your first tooth, went on your first field trip, and performed in your first school music program [and loved it!]. You do cartwheels anywhere with a big enough patch of open area. You love dried mangoes and pickles hard edge on a slice of deli ham. You still love to snuggle in a welcoming lap and love to be a little mom to Sloan.
You have a very tender heart, that hurts when others are hurting. Your spirit is wide open to adventure and challenges. When I think of you the picture that comes to mind is you, hair blowing and barefoot, running through an open field with arms outstretched to the horizon. You like to sit in a quiet corner with a book, you like to giggle at recess with a friend, you like to sleep in a bed next to your sisters, and you like to scale mountains. Meaning, there is no neat little box you fit in, Becks, and that is a fun thing to parent. We continue to pray and trust you to Jesus, knowing He will be the only one to lead you well. With His Spirit inside you and His purposes before you, you are going to do some amazing things for His Kingdom, no doubt. And we can't wait to see what those will be.
And as always: Your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see what it was Grace that held us together; that you see what it was God's daily bread that provided it all.
Happy seventh birthday, Becks Lynae! There is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you.
