Becks Lynae,
Once upon a time there was a little, tiny girl. She had so much fire inside of her, but was often a little scared to let others see it. She kept it tucked away, refusing to join in on little tumbling classes or activities at her church. But as she grew older, embers began to light a little more on outside, and soon others began to notice the amazing light that this girl had. She still keeps it reserved, lest a wildfire break out, but little by little she lights torches, and invites more and more people to experience this beautiful heat she had hidden inside of her for so long.
It's you, Becks! You're the girl! :) I remember how terrified you used to be to try new things, or speak to new people. You would cling to me and barely speak (of course, inside our house you were a raging furnace, letting it all out! ha!). But it has been such an incredible joy to watch, especially over the last year, as you've slowly peeled back those layers and grown more confident in who God has made you to be.
This was a huge, huge year for you with some monstrous changes. Not only did we switch schools, but we moved as well. And as I tried to help everyone in our family navigate the changes and process their feelings, YOU were the one that was the most up for each new adventure. Incredibly, you jumped into your new school and made deep friendships. When your dad and I first brought up the idea of moving, you were ready to start packing that night. You've always had a sense of adventure, and we saw it shine this last year and it helped buoy us all through the changes. When I was sad and struggling thinking about moving, you'd hug me and share some of your excitement with me: it was a weird change of roles, and I am so grateful for your positive outlook and joy during that time. Sure, you still did things in a very Becks way: you sat on a bench at recess almost every day and observed-- your friends, the teachers, all the students, the new playground rules... all. of. it. At one point your teacher texted me, "I've checked in with her because she just likes to sit at recess, but she says she's okay..." I assured her this was classic Becks: observe, observe, observe. Understand the culture and people before you make your moves.
One day though, your teacher sent me a picture and told me how proud she was of you. You may think it was the day you finally jumped in and played a game with your friends. Maybe it was a time you decided to finally play Venis Square. No. It was a day you quietly observed a girl on the fringes, and went and swung with her. Your teacher said you tried to engage her and make conversation. I was so proud of you, and I keep reminding you that this is your super power: you have the gift of observation and empathy. You notice. You notice things and you notice people. You have an uncanny way of seeing what people love and what irritates them. I joke that you sometimes use this gift for evil with your siblings, but more and more I see you using this gift in a way that truly is Kingdom work. And it is so beautiful to see.
You still love to be outside, thriving in mud holes and fishing spots. You've picked up some new volleyball skills this year too, as we joined a school that doesn't have softball, so you pivoted (though still enjoy playing softball this spring in prep for a summer season). You love to put together a good outfit, and still enjoy singing. You have moved on from just having fun in the kitchen to being truly helpful. I can ask you to make a batch of cookies, or some loaves of bread (from scratch!), and you know your way around and can do it all yourself (even if you have to get out the step stool still to reach everything :) ). You're also our most adventurous eater, always willing to try new flavors and dips. Above it all though, I still think your favorite pastime is trying to force Sloan into hugs and kisses.
You crack us up daily with your mashed up words, saying you "suspish" something, or that you have to "scroutch down." One time you said you were "getting a little "dropey," which I think was a cross between droopy and dopey. Once you were setting your alarm clock and told me you were going to wake up at 7:04, "right on the dab." But our all time favorite is when you said you usually squish clear to the edge of your bed and sleep right on the edge, "just on the little strim." We now use the word strim as much as possible. A favorite pastime in our family is also trying to get you to really laugh, because when you let loose it is the most pure, joyful sound and anyone around you cannot help but join in.
Becks, I have seen your confidence grow this year in huge ways, whether you were trying new things or making new friends. But more than anything I have seen your confidence grow in your love for Jesus. What a joy it has been to watch you fall more in love with him this year. I pray that whatever it is about that feisty fire you have inside of you, that you would harness that light to shine out and share the brightest Light there is: this dark world needs more lamp lighters like you, and I am excited to get to watch and see what God does in you and through you. When I was about your age we sang a song at church camp called "Light the Fire." There was a part of the song that said, "I feel Your arms around me, as the power of your healing begins; you breathe new life right through me, like a mighty rushing wind...so Light the fire in my soul, fan the flame, make me whole." And this year, as you've walked the rope between 10 and 11, I have witnessed Him breathing new life into you, and that mighty rushing wind is stirring something deep and real. I pray that flame keeps burning bright, sweet Becksy.
As always: your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was grace that held us together; that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all.
Happy eleventh birthday, Becks Lynae! We will always come for you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you!
**You wanted to wait until we could take your pictures at one of your favorite places: Lake Michigan.
