11.10.2011

drumroll please….

After a fitful night of sleep, tossing and turning and full of anxiety and excitement for the next day, Brent and I woke up and began the countdown to 3:20 p.m. when we would get to see our baby for the first time in a sonogram.

Brent decided to wear this today: A blue shirt with a pink tie. What will the sonogram reveal?

Torri showed up at school and brought me this tray of cookies:

Even though some arms and legs had fallen off, and they included a dog just to make me laugh, it was a really cool gesture [and the cookies are delicious!]

In 2nd hour some of my girls brought me this cupcake with blue and pink sprinkles:

I didn't snap a picture of my voting sheets I had in my classroom but will tomorrow. My students were very excited which still amazes me at how sweet they are and how much they care about me.

Finally after waiting ALL DAY, at quarter after two, I walked to my car and my nerves and excitement just kept rising. I picked Brent up from the bank and off we went. In the car I was either jabbering or we were silent. We got to the doctor's office, I checked in, and five minutes later we were in the little room and I was having jelly rubbed on my belly [I was so glad I didn't have to sit and wait!! They got me in 15 minutes BEFORE my appointment time! Awesome].

The technician flipped off the lights and then began explaining the images we were seeing of our baby. Oh. My. Goodness. And some people think there is no God? These images were unreal and seeing our baby's heartbeat was simply incredible. Brent and I just held hands and smiled at the miracle on the screen.

Our technician, Kristin, was chatty, but very sweet and just kept showing us different parts. FINALLY, about five minutes in she asked if we wanted to know the gender. YES YES YES, I screamed at the top of my lungs [Okay, so it was more like a mild, "Yes, please]. And then she said nonchalantly with a smile…as if it weren't changing our lives forever…

"You're having a girl…"

I squeezed Brent's hand to keep from busting. He squeezed back. "Are you sure," I asked. [I just had to check]. And she said, "I'm positive. She's been flipping around and shown me about 6 times!"

We were/are thrilled. We both not-so-secretly were hoping for a girl. When we first got pregnant I whispered a prayer, "Lord, please give me a baby girl to love." Brent has always thought he would have a girl first. And he is going to be a phenomenal dad to a girl.

She printed off some pictures for us and sent us on our way. She said since our girl was moving so much it was tough to get a good profile [that's my child alright!], but here is one of the best ones: Her face is in the bottom right and you can see her nose and lips. The second "blob" on the left is her abdomen. Isn't she beautiful?!


We had given our family members two cards when we told them we were pregnant. #1 and #2. We called and said, "OPEN NUMBER TWO!" Squeals. What is better that already having 2 granddaughters? Having three!!! We met up with Brent's parents and went to supper [at Olive Garden, of course], and they were thrilled too. I thought my dad was going to bust, but instead nearly tackled both Brent and I in hug.

A girl. A girl. A girl. Brent teared up when we were in the waiting room after our sonogram. He's so excited. We can't wait to meet her!


And now I better get this blog posted so you all can stop wondering!!! :-) Thanks for being excited with us!

thoughts

I wanted to just throw my thoughts on "paper" quickly before my sonogram.

In less than 24 hours I will know the sex of the child kicking and squirming inside of me.

I know our life changed a lot when we found out we were pregnant, but I feel like the sex of this child will determine so much more. Ultimately we are thrilled either way. [Minus the fact that if it's a boy I'll have to tell him the "castration story" someday!] But I am anxious none the less. I have had dreams about everything from missing my appointment, to boy, to girl...Brent even had one about twins!

However, this is more than just about the sex of the child. This will be the first sonogram I've had. It could reveal a lot of other "stuff." We have prayed for the health and safety of this child, but this is just one more of the unknowns we haven't seen yet...inside the womb. Is everything okay in there?

Regardless...this is our baby and we love him/her so much [so ready to stop typing him/her! :)]. Don't worry, we won't leave you hanging for too long after we know. Expect the reveal tomorrow sometime.

Also, the results on the voting reveal that most of my "blog followers" think I'm having a girl! [just barely]. However, the majority of my students voted that I'm having a boy [and they get CANDY if they were right!... sorry I can't teleport the candy to you via the blog if you are right, but feel free to exercise bragging rights].

HERE WE GO....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Prayer requests for this appointment: That my nerves would calm down [I'm so excited yet anxious], that the babe will cooperate and give us a good...ahem...angle so we can tell the gender, that I get a good report health wise
*Also please say a prayer for Jaque if you think of it. She goes in for her first round of chemo.

11.09.2011

Why my students write...

Here it is again. The annual event that began back in 2008. Why my students write. Every year they leave me breathless and so thankful that I have the job of teaching them. I like what I was inspired to write in year two: Why they write...is why I teach.

If you're interested:

Year ONE

Year TWO

Year THREE

And here is year FOUR:

I write because…

- it’s a way to express feelings without saying it out loud

- I want to be better at writing

- You can write what you feel without anyone judging you

- you can express yourself without people interrupting you.

- I can improve in writing if I practice

- my notebook will never judge me

- to tell things I don’t want to say out loud

- I can express my feelings

- I can tell secrets that no one will ever figure out

- it helps me make decisions

- I’m better at telling my feelings than showing them

- I’m bored

- I want someone to hear what I’m saying

- I secretly want someone to read it

- it clears my mind

- it opens my mind

- I learn things about myself

- my thoughts have meaning

- I can be heard

- I can’t be interrupted

- I’m busy

- I want to

- it’s easy

- I have something to say

- I’m good at it

- it is how I can communicate

- I feel shy and lonely

- it inspires me to do more things

- it makes me say stuff no one cares about but I do

- I can feel happy and sad or maybe both at the same time

- there’s only one voice that can be heard in the story

- no one else can have a say

- I have freedom to say what I want

- no one can change what I have down and say “that’s stupid”

- no one else feels the way I do

- it’s getting all the emotions out that I have inside

- no one can push me down

- it makes me feel strong

- I have my own say

- it makes me excited

- there’s things my parents will never know

- some words are too mean to be said out loud

- there’s too many thoughts to have in my head

- I get scared

- I feel like I get beaten down

- I hurt and writing makes it better

- no one sees the real me

- I can try to understand what I’m thinking

- Only I can tell people how I feel and when there’s no time to say it, then there must be time to read it

- One day I will show my mom how I feel and if it’s too hard to say maybe she will read it

- I don’t have the courage to say it

- there is no one to listen

- I have deeper feeling then what’s on the surface

- I can’t cry so I let my tears become the lead I engrave into the paper

- someday someone will find what I’ve written and will hear me

- I believe in myself if no one else does

- I want to explain myself

- I need room to air out my ideas

- I have a story inside of me

- I can’t keep track of my memories

- when I talk I hold back on what really needs to be said

- I hate being interrupted

- someday when someone finally reads this I can actually be heard

- because I’m lost and confused

- I’m afraid my words just aren’t enough

- I’m misunderstood

- I’m angry

- I want to make my dad proud

- it allows me to let out my emotions

- I don’t show emotion

- one day someone will understand

- no one tries to get to know me—they just make assumptions

- I may be different outside of school and I want to show teachers that

- it allows me to say what I need to say

- I am me

- people don’t give me a chance

- I need to say this stuff before going to the army

- I want to make my own choices instead of people telling me my choices

- I’m a jerk

- I want to be heard

- I get to speak my mind

- it brings me peace

- life is unfair

- my mother left me

- my father stayed

- I want to be remembered

- I want people to hear the real me

- it brings me clarity

- I can let others know they’re not alone in their troubles

- it gives me power

- I want to remember

- I’m not afraid to write

- my story has the right to be told

- writing is a joy

- of what I want to say

- it makes me stronger

- it makes me a better writer

- it takes whatever is on my mind, off of it

- it makes me feel free

- it makes me smarter

- I can bring anything I want to life

- all the pain feels better when I get it out of my system

- deep down I want to be a good writer and student but it never comes out the way I want and I want to get better

- I can express myself freely

- someday I won’t be who I am today and I might want to come find myself

- it is like breathing

- it is me, and I can make it my own

- it I’m falling I can give myself a paper ledge to cling to

- I never want to lose myself

- I’m lonely

- I love my nieces and nephews

- I want to be heard

- it is necessary

- if I’m pushed down I can use the notebook as a shield before I’m kicked

- I don’t know how not to

- not everyone can

- stories need to be told, even if there is no one to hear them

- there are things I can put on paper that I wouldn’t dare say out loud

- it sets off my imagination as if I were myself as a kid again

- it’s a good way to remember things

- on the inside I’m an emotional girl dying to let things out but knowing I’ve got to keep a tough exterior

- it takes my mind to a whole different place I never knew existed

- sometimes it’s like talking to myself

- my pencil and heart communicate writing things my brain can’t comprehend

- I choose who can see the writing and I’m not judged for it

- writing can’t be twisted around for rumors—it’s set in stone.

- I’m crazy and creative

- I let my true thoughts escape my brain and express myself

- I have nothing better to do

- maybe my writing will be valuable

- it leaves something of my personality behind when I’m dead and gone

- I’m smart

- I have too many thoughts I can’t say out loud but can’t keep in my head either

- there’s many choices to what, how, when, or why to write

- I’m my own person

- it blocks out everything and everyone

- I feel like I’m nothing and I want to know who I will become

- I’m scared of my thoughts

- I feel like there is nothing I can say that will help people understand me

- I just want my ugly, black hole to go away

- Most of the time I don’t say what I really thing, but what people want to hear

- I’m scared that if I tell everyone what I’m thinking they will cower away and run as if I’m a monster

- Now I can finally breathe just a little bit more

- I can escape the crazy emotions that never stop changing

- I can let go of the anger

- if I don’t nobody will every know who I am

- it makes me feel good

- there are so many things to be said

- nothing can stop me from doing it

- there are so many thoughts in my head

- I worry

- I’m a coward and can’t say my thoughts out loud

- what I write is worth writing

- I have an opinion and ideas

- My biggest fear is forgetting

- when I’m old I want to have reminders of what it felt like to be young

- maybe I can help someone else

- my emotions are ever changing and that frightens me

- I want to be heard instead of ignored

- I want to feel relaxed and let my thoughts flow

- it’s a good way to pass the time

- it’s fun to make stories about things that will never happen in our lives

- things don’t seem to come out right when I saw them

- I’m sad and it makes me happy

- it could be my last day

- I’m embarrassed to speak in front of people

- no one likes to listen to my feelings

- I don’t have enough breath to say everything I want to

- It’s like Autumn leaves falling out of the sky, the words just fall onto the paper

- it could change someone’s life

- I want people to know I’m more than just sports

- I feel like it helps me get through the pain

- I want others to not be afraid of writing

- it helps me calm down

- what I write might be famous someday

- it’s who I am

- so I can help people who need it

- I want to be a journalist

- it’s my way to relieve stress

- people make fun of me

- it’s hard to talk to my parents

- I’m left out

- I comprehend more when it’s written

- I’m a teenager

- I’m a kid

- I want someone to congratulate me for something good I’ve done

- I hope God will write back to tell me what I should do

- no matter how much I scream, no one screams back

- some people aren’t as fortunate

- my best friend loves to write and is amazing at it, but her dad doesn’t approve

- my handwriting sucks

- it’s fun to doodle

- I want to remember everything

- to show what I am capable of doing

- I do not want to remember what has happened to me, so I change the ending to make it happy

- I feel guilty about things I have done that were wrong

- I feel bad that I can’t help someone else be happy

- My boyfriend and I are fighting and I want to think about something happier

- I want my mom to just be proud of me for once, for something, and I don’t care what it is

- it puts my fantasies, imagination, and thoughts into words

- I don’t want to be the kid that gets yelled at

- I’m slightly neurotic and this keeps me sane

- when I write, sometimes I realize things about myself

- it’s so much fun to write

- tomorrow I may not be able to

- I like being creative

- it’s peaceful

- it helps the hurt go away

- it is a part of life that is with you all the time

- I have to; no person is forcing me to, but I have to

- without writing I would never be happy

- on paper, I am a totally different person

- I once read the quote, “Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”

- you don’t know me if you haven’t read everything I’ve written

- it is my escape from reality

- it is my escape from everyone else’s words

- my writing isn’t always pretty or pleasant, but neither am I

- you really want to know what I have to say, read my notebooks full of poems, song lyrics, and stories

- I love what I write about

- my life sometimes needs to be shared to make me feel important

- I have no one to talk to when I have problems

- it’s an escape route from reality and some of the bad things in life

- I think something important happens everyday

- I like to tell funny stories that have happened

- some days I have very nice handwriting and like to see it on paper

- the music makes me want to

- I can see a squirrel in the tree right now

I write…

- so that people will listen

- to give hope to those that are different

- to tell you this

- to influence not only myself, but others too

- to make it final; to make sure it stuck in this unfaithful world

- to help my mind ease even with all my problems and troubles floating around

- in hope that one day I would not disappoint someone

- to embrace others around me

- to get rid of my problems even if it’s just for a second, it’s a second my body and mind don’t take the load from all the past events that took place

- to not me like my mother yet become closer to my father

- to escape; to runaway from the world I know I’ll eventually have to face

- to discover myself, because when I’m on paper I find myself easier to read

- to tell about the past

- to make people laugh

- to make others remember what they had

- to prove myself; people don’t look inside to see the strength that I really have

- to show who I am; there is more to me than ‘the smart kid in the front row’