what do you do to stay sane?

"The daily grind" is something we all face. My grind is diapers and meals and cleaning and pretend and wiping noses and cleaning accidents and "yes-you-have-to-nap"s. Brent's grind is loan review and reading federal regulations and putting the smack down at the bank [or something like that]. It is different for everyone, yes. But we all have one.

And we all need something that is OTHER than the grind; some form of catharsis. Some place to find "SERENITY NOW!" [Please tell me you got that reference.]

Yesterday I popped onto Instagram for a second right when I sat down to blog, and two people had posted pictures about their "sweet escape": one was at her sewing machine [which gives me ANXIETY to even think about, clearly not my happy place], and another was at her table with her crafts and scrapbook supplies [actually it was Project Life which would bring me great joy as well, except I know I would spend our retirement savings and we'd lose the house if I started…]. It was funny to me because I had just sat down to write, and I thought to myself, "Sigh. This is so what I need right now."

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For me I write. I blog. I journal.
Or I read. Or I read outside which is even better.
Sometimes cleaning is cathartic.
Sometimes crafting [but not sewing ;)] is what I need.
Sometimes napping is what I do to stay sane. #truth

I want to continue to have hobbies and things I enjoy outside of my children.
However, I don't ever want to feel like I'm owed this time, either.

Yes, sometimes it is best for everyone if I have a second to breathe and get away because, well, emotional explosion everywhere for everyone if not. However, I remember when reading Loving the Little Years [review HERE] the author says, "Your children change you into a different person. If you suddenly panic because it all happened so fast and now you don't recognize yourself, what you need is not time alone. What you need is your people. Look out-- look at the people who made you what you are-- your husband and your children. Study them. They are you. If you want to know yourself, concentrate on them. If you want quality "me time," make a date with your husband. Do something special with your children. These people are you. Your identity is supposed to be intertwined-- that is the way God wrote the story, and it is the way he intends us to read it." 

Who I am now and forevermore will be a wife and mother. What I do to "stay sane" and "escape the daily grind" are not to "find myself" but to recharge the batteries so I can be the best I can be spiritually, emotionally, and physically for them.

And so I pose the question, what do you do to stay sane? 

My husband runs miles upon miles, even though I think that is rather INsane. 

[an end note that has very little to do with this post: When I was reminded of "Loving the Little Years" for this post, I came across this quote from the book:

Jankovic says, "When scripture says to bring [your children] up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, it is not talking about finding the most effective way to organize them. This is a very easy trap to fall in…because cleaning and sorting makes you look and maybe even feel like you have your act together, even if you seriously don't…Christian childrearing is a pastoral pursuit, not an organizational challenge." 

I wanted to add that here as a continuation of my post about organization from last week, as this is something I want to always keep at the forefront of my mind. And also this is why some people kick my rear at being a Godly mother, because they can ignore the mess and be super present. We all have much to learn, don't we? :)]

the writing life

I mentioned I wanted to reread a favorite of mine: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. And I am. And it is every bit as good as the last two times I read it.

And it reminds me of the beauty of the written word. And the beauty of the act of writing. And the beauty of finding and living stories. 

The other day I was driving and I saw something that reminded me of a poem that reminded me of something I'd been wanting to write about. Which got me thinking about writing and how writer's minds work and how not everyone thinks like that. I was with a friend last week and she said something and I said, "That's a story that needs to be written." She asked, "Is that how your mind works?"

She said she has another friend who "thinks the same way." 
And I realized I don't know how to think any differently.

When I took a poetry class in college the teacher gave us one ongoing assignment for the semester: we were to keep a journal on us at all times, and we were to collect life. It was an assignment for one semester, but it is an assignment I have not been able to shake. I cannot stop collecting life. And once you start collecting life, you can't stop writing either.

I don't always have a journal on me these days, but I have scraps of paper here and there where I've jotted notes, or a new document on the computer, or a note on my phone. Things like:

- summer rain
- I want that kind of beauty to happen in me
- girls in backseat [became THIS]
- lake people
- I want to always remember her hiccup [became THIS]
- "The streets were crowded and we got out of work early." -gma Pat, VE day

They aren't detailed, and they mean very little, if anything, to someone else who may happen to read them. But to me? Well, they tell a story, or they invite me into telling one.

I can't just sit on a plane next to someone and not wonder: what is their story? [And sometimes I have the opportunity to get a little bit out of them, and hear it, and it always fascinates me.]

I don't claim to know everything about writing, nor do I claim to be a great writer. But I enjoy it. And I know that my mind thinks like a writer and that it is not something that I can easily shut off.

At the bottom of my blog I've always had this quote from Natalie Goldberg: Become big and write with  the whole world in your arms. The whole world. In your arms. I love that imagery.

We are all carriers of stories that are you unique. I think we are all responsible to tell a good story with our life, yes, but I also think we are responsible for getting to know the stories of others, and to carry them well.