baby bump 2: week 40

Mother's Day-- the end of what would have been week 40 

Dear Becks,

It is our last "bump picture" with you in it-- my favorite bump picture yet! Just last week your dad and I were talking about how fast this entire journey has gone, and yet in the same breath it is hard to believe you are actually here with us, making us a family of four.

You shocked me completely when the nurses announced you were only five pounds and twelve ounces. All along the doctor told me you wouldn't be very big [she said no more than 7 pounds], but I felt for sure you were bigger than your sister was. But they laid you on my chest, after our fast and furious labor and delivery, and sure enough you are such a tiny, tiny thing to love. You have been a really great baby in your first two weeks of life. You are strong for being so little too! You've been very alert and wakeful after feedings, and you are a fast nurser [praise the Lord!]. There has only been one night where you didn't want to fall right back to sleep-- you didn't fuss though, you were just wide awake for about two hours. [Actually while I write this you are awake, snuggled on my chest, just taking everything in].

You looked so much like your sister at first that your dad and I were having flashbacks. But now we think you look like Becks. You are so beautiful. Several times your dad will just hold you and look at you and then sigh and say, "Man, she's pretty." Blythe has been very sweet with you as well. She loves to kiss you and love on you, but prefers that you be awake when she does it ["eyes open," she says]. I can't wait to see your relationship with one another grow and grow.

You're kind of a grunty, noisy sleeper. We kept you in our room for the first week, but now you're sleeping in your crib in your own room. It is literally about 15 or 20 steps from our bed, so I don't think you feel too abandoned.

It is so very strange to carry a baby so close for nine months, and then have her come out into this bright and bustling world and no longer be able to "protect" her in the ways I could before. I forgot how scary it is, actually. I forgot how utterly dependent I have to be on Christ-- to trust that He is holding you and watching you in the moments I can't.

You are wearing some preemie clothes, and I have a feeling you'll be in newborn diapers for awhile yet. Though we tried to prepare ourselves for  a baby that didn't have dark hair,  we weren't surprised when you did. I just love breathing you in, and kissing your tiny lips. In the stillness of the night when we are awake together while you eat, I sometimes pray over you like I did when you were still in my belly. Yet looking in your eyes, and praying for this very real baby in my arms, is a little different-- the stakes seem higher.

And so in this final letter, know that we pray that we can love and serve you well; that we can discipline you wisely and know your heart. We pray that you would have integrity, live a pure life, be patient in the big stuff, and be devoted whole- heartedly to what you are passionate about. We pray that you would know and love our great big God, who has given you to us. We pray that you would love Jesus, and that you would love like Jesus.

We love you so very, very much, sweet Becks Lynae. I know our journey is just beginning-- and I'm so excited.

Love, Mom

baby bump #2: week 39

Dear baby,

We made it. And by "it" I mean past the kidney stones [I think! Three down...]. After last week, though I'm very tired and sore, I know I can carry you around for however much longer is necessary. However, I do think this will probably be the last "bump letter" I get to write you. Which seems so crazy to me. This pregnancy has FLOWN by. There have been moments of struggle and discomfort and even pain, and it was definitely not as easy as my last, but man-oh-man it sure went fast.

When I think about last summer, when your dad and I were just dreaming of you and praying for you, this day seemed so far away. And then those two lines showed up, and we rejoiced because they meant YOU were in the making. And then there was a month or two of being silent about you, our little secret, until we heard your heartbeat and broke out the news so everyone could share in our excitement. And then the months I waited for a "baby bump" to really show up, and then sharing your first kicks and movements. And then we found out you were a girl, and began praying for your special traits. And then it was Christmas and New Years and family visiting and snow and then, all of a sudden, it was spring. A spring that meant your impending arrival. And here we are, fully ready, fully formed…waiting.

I remember saying this last time, but it's so true: I feel like a ticking time bomb. I am so aware of all of your movements, and am hyper-aware of anything my body is feeling. We will make it to the hospital! I think it's funny, but your dad is all in favor of my water breaking: he says it's just the "iconic labor story" and we need to have one. I think you and your sister have already talked and are conspiring against me, though. When I was pregnant with her I was certain she would be an April baby, as her due date was March 28th. But then she came early. So when I found out your due date was May 3, I thought again that you would for sure be an April baby. I am writing this on April 30th, and I believe you have both made me out to be a liar.

Oh sweet daughter, I'm so excited to meet you. I am really looking forward to holding you in my arms for that very first time, because now I know just how incredibly awesome it is. Yes, Blythe made me a mom, but you will make me a different kind of mom, and our journey together will be different and beautiful in its own way.

I pray for your arrival. I pray for your first days. I pray we click in ways neither of us can imagine right now. I pray you are pure. I pray you are patient. I pray you are passionate and devoted. I pray you are a woman of integrity. I pray your dad and I will know how to best love you. I pray we will know how to best serve you and discipline you. I pray that you find our home to be filled with deep joy and peace. And I pray, baby girl, that the hands that raise and influence you are the hands of Christ, and that you grow more and more in His love and mercy and grace as your days stretch out.

Soon.
So very soon, my little one.

Love, Mom

Black and white: 39 weeks with Blythe. I took the picture but didn't have a chance to write the letter. She came two days after this picture. 

Color: 39 weeks with baby girl #2. I think I'm relatively the same size, but that she is a little lower/has dropped. 

I still can't believe people think I don't look full term! I look at these and I see BABY! 

Also, for those of you wanting to know, we will post stats and NAME to the blog as soon as we can from the hospital, as it will be one of the quickest ways to "tell the masses." So if we are "radio silent" everywhere else, you may want to check back here.

Final guesses on her name?

baby bump #2: week 38

Dear baby,

Well, girl, it's been a week! A lot has happened since I last wrote you. Last Wednesday I didn't feel too great. My mom and sister both thought I was in denial, and that it was early stages of labor. By three in the morning on Thursday, I was believing them. My entire abdomen was cramping and painful, and I was nauseous. I couldn't sleep. Since my doctor had said to come in with anything consistent, even cramping, I thought it would be best to heed that advice. I could tell it wasn't "the real deal," and the few contractions I was having occasionally definitely weren't much of anything, but thanks to your sister's speedy arrival, we decided it would be best to head in to the hospital just in case it did develop into something. I woke your dad up at about 5, he agreed, and we called your nana and papa. They came over at about 6:30 to stay with Blythe, and we headed out. [A funny story here: your papa, at 6 in the morning while I'm grimacing on the couch, is asking your dad about loans/carrying money/money orders….and THEN when we are finally heading out the door, he corrals me and has to tell me about the dream he was having when I called them. This will all make sense when you get to know your papa]. 

By 8 o'clock we were situated in the triage room-- the exact same room where I progressed from a 2 to a 10 in an hour with your sister. My cramps had subsided and were more like contractions, but my nausea had completely gone away. Again, I could tell it wasn't really labor, but since we were at the hospital, I was more than happy to let it begin. I think the hardest contraction I had came when your dad and I got to laughing about something-- he was in tears and couldn't stop, and I was trying to tell him to quit cause it was kind of hurting to laugh. I love that man, your father. We had a wonderful nurse, who kept assuring me that I did the right thing to come in with my history. They let me stay awhile longer than most "you're-not-really-having-a-baby-you're-just-taking-up-space" patients, and we walked around for an hour to see if it would progress into anything. I was only ever dilated to 2cm. [Which was eerily familiar]. I kept repeating the verse that I want to hold fast to when I am in labor: "Stay your mind on me." [Isaiah 26:3]. Nothing progressed. By noon we knew it was time to go. While we were there I kept praying that things would either pick up and be obvious, or that everything would completely stop. I didn't want to leave and be in some weird limbo and worry that you were going to come and not be close to hospital. My prayers were answered. Everything stopped, minus a few strong Braxton Hicks, and we had lunch with your Nini. We decided to go to our friends' place, Brandon and Courtney's, and take a nap and just make sure nothing else happened before we headed home. We decided it was "all clear", that you were staying put for awhile yet, and headed home around 4. 

I was pretty exhausted on Friday, but was able to rest thanks to Matt and Stacy taking your sister for a bit, and once I had showered and gotten ready for the day, I felt pretty much "back to normal." At least as normal as I can at 38 weeks! I did, however, realize that I was developing what I thought was another UTI. Bummer. It was my third for this pregnancy.  Saturday was beautiful and I got stuff done around the house, enjoyed being outside, spent some time with Paige and Torri who were home for Easter [and hoping you would come while they were here!], and had a pretty good day. I had called in and gotten a prescription for the UTI and started taking the meds, hoping it would relieve some of that discomfort. That night the left side of my back hurt a bit, but I figured I'd just been on my feet too much, put some heat on it, and took a Tylenol pm and went to bed. Sunday was Easter Sunday! I love Easter, baby girl. Your daddy thought it would be a great day for you to come, however, we weren't really planning on it and made plans to go to your Great Grandma Ann's for lunch after church, then head over to Nini and PopPop's for the evening if I wasn't too pooped and Blythe was cooperating. I did tell your dad that I thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and throw our hospital bags in the van before we left for church, since we wouldn't be home for awhile. 

I woke up with that same pain in my back though, on my left side. It wasn't in my lower back, like most back pain I've had lately, and it was mild to intense. I sat down and got ready for church. Took some tylenol. I figured I'd slept on it wrong or that you were just in a funny position. I had your dad take this week's picture, and then we left for church. By the time we got to church in St. Joe, I wasn't feeling very good at all. Your dad dropped me off at the door and I thought maybe going to the bathroom would help. It didn't. Your dad got your sister situated in nursery and I slinked my way into a pew. As the sermon progressed, I couldn't even concentrate because my pain was increasing. I went to the bathroom again, trying to relieve some of the pressure, and again it didn't really help. I came back into the service and kind of slumped over sideways on your dad, taking whatever pressure I could off of my left side. When we sang the last songs I didn't even stand up [and they were some of my favorite songs!]. Immediately when the service was over, I told your dad to just go get Blythe and that we needed to go. On the way home was when it got really bad. I was trying not to cry from the pain, which was sharp and constant. I was praying that I would start contracting, as I felt like that pain would lessen what I was experiencing. I told your dad we should still just go to Grandma's because I may as well be in pain there, rather than at home, but he's a good man and he knew something wasn't right. He called Nana and Papa, and they met us at our house. They would take Blythe to Grandma's and we would figure out what we were going to do. 

At this point I couldn't change my clothes myself, and he had to help me. But I got some heat on my back and got my feet up, and it started feeling a little more manageable. You were moving and groovin' the whole time, so I knew you were doing alright. I checked in with my friend Brandon, who is an MD, and he said I should probably put a call in. So I did. The on-call nurse that day was actually a friend from church, and she said, "Sorry to tell you this since I know you were just in town, but you need to come back and have it checked out." I was NOT looking forward to getting back in the van, baby girl, as the ride home had been pretty miserable. But our bags were already packed, and I brought the heat pack with me and crawled in the very back so I could put my feet up. I just kind of made myself "go to my happy place" for the drive back. 

I limped back into labor and delivery around 2:30, and it felt like we had just left. The first few hours were pretty miserable. They poked and prodded me, drew blood, and some other uncomfortable stuff. I was still 2cm when they checked, but I knew I wasn't in labor. I knew this was something else entirely. They could tell I didn't have a UTI quickly from my labs. Which was strange to me, because it really seemed that was the case on Friday and Saturday. So I had to head off to have an ultrasound done on my kidneys where the pain was radiating from. Besides the ride home from church, the wheelchair ride to and from the ultrasound room was the most painful. I was finally able to get some heat on my back around 5:30 or 6, which helped. At about 7 a nurse came in to hook me up to an IV for a saline drip, drew some more blood, and informed me that I had a kidney stone and that my kidney's were inflamed and that I'd be staying the night. The good news was, the entire time I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and your little heartbeat was pounding throughout the room. It was the comfort I needed in the midst of everything-- to know you were still safe and healthy. 

Some more good news came around 8, when the nurse told me I could have some Percocet. She said I could also have morphine if I needed it. Since I hadn't been allowed to eat anything, I was a little nervous about how my empty stomach would react to that, so I settled for the Percocet and it made me a lot more comfortable. Before trying to sleep, your dad reached over and grabbed my hand and we prayed for you, for the night, and for the pain. Without going into too many crazy details, sweet one, throughout the night they monitored me and were trying to tell if I passed the stone. I went through three IV bags, and didn't get much sleep, but by morning I was feeling a lot better. All night while I was trying to sleep, but would get anxious, I repeated the verse, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still." [Exodus 14:14]. Your dad actually slept pretty well. Yes, you see, little one, he never left my side. That is what your daddy is like. 

I took my last pain pill at 8. They said I could eat! This was the news I had really been waiting for-- I was SO hungry! :) By noon my pain was very mild, I declined the next pain pill, and we waited to speak to the urologist. The urologist was great, and he said since I'm 38 weeks we would just try to manage the pain, and then check in with him after I deliver. This sounded like a good plan to me, and also meant we got to break free. At about 2 o'clock, we were able to be discharged, and I was feeling pretty okay. We got some Sonic, happy hour drinks to celebrate and headed back home. I was exhausted and took a nap, then ate leftover Easter dinner, then your dad and I crashed. I slept pretty well, but woke up with some pain in my left back again. I was nervous it was all going to start all over. So I have been taking it easy ever since, and the pain is tolerable, usually mild. 

Oh baby girl, please know you are worth all of this. I won't lie and say it's been a walk in the park, but knowing you're on the other side sure does help. I have learned a lot through this week: you know the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"? Well, you and I are already experiencing that. And let me tell you, you have some truly wonderful people looking our for your mama, and for YOU, already. I don't know how many offers for help have been extended, meals provided, etc. have already come in. Your dad has obviously been wonderful, but the people he works with have been wonderful in allowing him to be flexible too so that he can be here for us when he needs to be. You grandparents, all of them, have already done so much I'm afraid they'll be too pooped to help when you really do make your appearance! 

And you know what I think is kind of crazy? That the backdrop of this entire weekend was Easter-- the resurrection of our Savior. This couldn't be more fitting. A friend of mine wrote on her blog in reflection of her own Easter and feeling that she'd "failed" to make it special: "The point is I can't, but He can-- and did-- and continues to do…It's Friday evening. And there is hope." It sure has felt like Friday evening around here lately. But there is hope. There is hope of new life coming. What a beautiful, tangible picture you have given me of Easter, sweet girl. I pray that when this is all said and done, and you're in my arms, and we look back and I tell you these stories and you read these letters that you will see His hands at work throughout it all; little touches of His grace in your story.  At church on Easter morning, though I was doubled over in the pew as the congregation worshiped around me, I still sang out to our risen Savior. And as we sang the lines to one of my favorite songs that went, "From life's first cry, 'til final breath, Jesus commands my destiny," tears sprang to my eyes, a lump to my throat, as I thought of you and your little life that is about to unfold. And I thought of the pain I was going through, and that Jesus was ultimately in control. And I thought of the pain that HE went through that has allowed all of this to be worth it. Oh I can't wait to tell you all about Him, baby girl. 

I know this is the longest letter I've written you. Needless to say, this week definitely has made me long to hold you more. I love you. 

Love, Mom 

Comparison: 38 weeks baby two and 38 weeks with Blythe. 

I think it's been very similar [minus all the extra stuff I've gotten to experience this time :)] 

Oh, and, hey! Remember when I had curly hair?

baby bump #2: week 37

Dear baby,

The end of a pregnancy is such a weird place to be as it is filled with so many emotions. I am currently feeling: ecstatic- I know that you will be in my arms soon and just knowing I will be holding you and breathing you in leave me beyond excited; terrified- there are still so many unknowns at this point because you aren't in my arms yet. What will delivery be like? Will you stay safe and healthy? Will I stay safe and healthy? sad- there is something bittersweet about this time that I'm not sure I can adequately describe. There is an intimacy and safety in being pregnant with you that is hard to want to relinquish. I also know pretty much what life looks like on a day to day basis right now, and soon I'll have to let that go; overwhelmed: you may very well find this out one day if you have children, but something snaps in a pregnant woman in the last little bit. I sent my sister a text today that said, "I have this great desire to clean everything while simultaneously taking a nap!" There is a very real need to have everything in it's place and the house clean and… just to be in a constant state of preparedness. It's weird; eager- I am so eager for you, my sweet second daughter.

I have definitely "dropped" recently. Again, because I'm one of the lucky-long-torsoed ones we have a lot of space to work with, so I don't look as "dropped" as some people do when the baby is getting ready. But I can sure tell. I also feel like I've really expanded in the past week or so, which would make sense, because you're packing on the pounds/ounces these days. The doctor still says you shouldn't be too big [around 6-7 pounds], which would be lovely. Do we have a deal? :) Our doctor's appointment this week went well. She won't check us for progression for another week, but your heartbeat is still strong and everything is looking good. I expressed some concern about having another/even faster delivery, thinking she would assuage my fears. Instead, she seemed even more concerned than me, saying that second deliveries are nearly always faster and that we need to be prepared. She said she doesn't care how far apart my contractions are, or even if what I'm feeling are contractions-- she said if I feel anything consistently to come in, be it sharp back pain, cramps etc. I was anxious last time about my water breaking in front of my students, but now I'm anxious that if my water breaks we really won't have time to get there! Just hang tight as long as you can, baby girl, in order to give us the best help we can get to ensure the safest arrival possible, okay?!

We had another wonderful shower thrown in our honor by some awesome gals from church. It was such a fun time just to fellowship together and think about your arrival. And they blessed us with some even more wonderful items that will be so good to have once you're here.

With some awesome ladies at our shower

Your ole mama turned 28 this week too. This is about where I thought I'd be when I was this age, but it is still hard to believe that I'm here and that you are so close to joining our family to make us FOUR. Your dad thought it would be awesome if I just went ahead and had you on my birthday like your Aunt Beth did with your cousin, George, but you just weren't quite ready, and that is okay.

A few more weeks? One more week? Only time will tell. My aches tell me you're getting closer, and my heart tells me it's not sure it can handle this much more love! We are so excited.

Love, Mom

baby bump 2: week 36

Dear baby,

Whew. These days are flying by and crawling by all at the same time. How is that possible? 

This is such a strange time for me in pregnancy. I definitely feel more physically ready than last time, because things have just been a bit more sore and uncomfortable, and yet I don't want to rush it. I still love being pregnant and knowing that you're so close to me in this intimate way. To share these nine months with you is such an amazing gift, and it will be bittersweet to see it come to an end in a few weeks. 

If you follow your sister's lead, I only have two more bump posts to go before your arrival. I know we are ready for you in very real ways, but the unknowns of getting you here are still outstretched before us. Whenever and however you decide to come, we rest knowing that the God of angel armies is always by our side.

Your dad had a bit of a stomach bug this week. Yikes. Long night for him. He doesn't really complain when he is sick [unlike your momma!], but I could tell he was pretty miserable. I felt awful for him, but I also really didn't want to get it for your sake [and mine], and I really didn't want your sister to get it. So we quarantined him a bit, and then I bleached and scrubbed and cleaned and cleaned. And I think we managed to somehow escape it! God is good! And your dad is feeling much better too! I just kept thinking, "Oh no…I'm gonna go into labor while he's sick and then what?… " But we would have managed. :) 

You are the size of a cantaloupe now! I can tell you're a little more squished up in there. You've been officially growing for 9 months now [I'll let you in on a little secret for when you have your own children: there is no 9 months about pregnancy! It is 40 weeks-- give or take-- and, if you do the math, that's more than 9 months.] It literally seems like yesterday when your dad and I were jumping for joy when we discovered you were on the way. 

I think we have everything ready to go. I still need to put your carseat base in the car, and find all my nursing gear, but other than that…bring it on! There are of course other "nesting" things that I would like to get done before you come, but may just not happen: like power washing the house and cleaning the windows and…etc. etc. :). I am certain you won't care if those don't get accomplished though. 

Soon. Soon. Soon. You'll be in my arms and I'll be smelling your sweet smell and listening to your sweet sounds and whispering sweet dreams and prayers in your tiny little ears. Stay tucked in as long as you need to though. 

Love, Mom

baby bump 2: week 35

Comparison at 23 and 35 weeks.

Oh what a difference 12 weeks [and a few Oreo balls!] can make for a pregnant lady.

I'm thinking,  "Is this the same shirt?! It can't be! I look too different."
Also, to be fair about the hair situation, I took this at about 9:30 at night. 

Dear baby,

We did it! We are in the "safe to arrive" zone!

I can sure tell you are running out of room in there. I apologize I don't have more space for you, but it's only a sign that it's nearing time to let me hold you in my arms.

Everything went very well at our appointment this week. You are for sure head down…way head down actually…we measured a little "small" and then when Dr. C checked she realized that you were further down than she originally thought. You should more than likely stay this way until it's time to deliver. Thank you. I didn't want to have to stand on my head or something to try to get you to flip! Your dad and I can't help but laugh because there is some part of you that is nearly always sticking out my right side. Your feet? Not sure. It makes carrying your sister on that hip pretty darn near impossible though! :)

I wrote your name on a couple of things this week. It definitely makes it seem more real, and gives you more of an identity for us. There are so many great names out there, but we hope you'll grow into the one we have picked for you and appreciate the meaning and story behind it.

We also pre-registered this week at the hospital! What?! We are officially in the system, they know the gist of our preferences [we had to say, "Sure!" when they asked if they could give you a pacifier, or "Of course!" when they signed off on your vaccines]. They asked how many people would be in the room during your delivery, and the plan is just your dad and me. That was our plan last time too, and little did we know it was to be our only option!

Oh my word, sweet girl, we love you so much already and we are definitely getting some ants in the pants to meet you. Obviously I'm cool with you waiting five more weeks, or so, and have a few things left I'd like to get ready, but if you surprise us now it will be okay! Your sister said she will read you some books and sing you songs when you get here, so you're in for a treat there.

We love you. So much.

Love, Mom

baby bump 2: week 34

Dear Baby,

34 weeks. Here we are, on that downhill slope. Generally people keep telling me that we don't look like we are this far along, which is a great compliment. The doctor last week [we saw someone besides our regular doctor] told me I'd gained enough and should stop. I think we will go with the people. ;). Speaking of weight though, I can tell you're getting bigger by the day. Since I have such a long torso, you have a lot of room to spread out, so I'm not super uncomfortable yet, but can definitely tell you're taking up more and more room. 

We celebrated your sister's second birthday. You liked the cupcakes, for sure, as you spun and twirled after I ate them. Celebrating two years of Blythe's life reminded me though of how quickly my time with you girls will pass. Before we know it we will be celebrating YOUR second year of life…and then you're third… and then high school… and then your wedding… But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's enjoy this last stretch together while you're still so close to me and we still get to share secret moments together. 

I have a friend who recently had a baby five weeks before her due date. I'm not expecting that to happen, but it makes me think. I said to your dad just today, "I'm gonna go ahead and get a list together for things we need to put in our bags." I don't think we need to pack them just yet, but being slightly prepared will make me feel better. 

I just know the weather is going to warm up before you get here. It has to! And when it does things will get green with new life and I know that I, too, will be bursting with new life and with even more anticipation! We will sit on the porch and rock and just get to know each other this spring and summer. Oh it sounds so good. 

I almost slipped and said your name when I was talking with someone about you the other day. It's becoming more and more natural to me to think, and your dad and I use it all the time when we are talking about you, but we still want to keep it a secret until your big debut! 

Downhill slope. Downhill slope. Downhill slope. Let's do this! 

Love, Mom 

baby bump 2: week 33

I've gone and done it again and gotten behind. My apologies. Now let's forget about it because it will probably happen a few more times. 

Dear Baby,

Whew. Mama looks tired in this week's picture. Growing you is exhausting work, but worth it.

I think it's funny that just last week I was telling you how your movements are a little fewer and farther between but strong. Scratch that. You're moving all.the.time. now. It's funny because it's like something switched and poof! You're groovin'! Your in my ribs a lot now on my upper right side. There are a few times that it's uncomfortable, but usually it's such an unusual feeling that I can't help but kind of enjoy it.

Everything looked good at the doctor this week. You are head down and will most likely stay that way from here on out [hence why I feel so much movement in my ribs now! Your feet are busy!]. I think I have another week or two and then we go to the doctor every week. Can you believe it? That's a sure sign that you're getting close to being here.

I think your dad is getting a little tired of me constantly cleaning and preparing things for you, so if it were up to him you'd come sooner rather than later, just so that your presence in my arms would occupy me :)! But really we're just so glad you're staying strong in there and that you're still healthy and growing like you should be. Patience is one of the traits we are praying for you, so who know is you'll demonstrate that this side of delivery or not? Your sister sure didn't!

I held a newborn girl this week, and while I held her you kicked and squirmed and it made me even more excited to see your sweet face and hold you in my arms like that. We love you, baby girl. So very much already, we love you.

Love, Mom 

baby bump 2: week 32

Dear baby,

Another week down and we both keep growing! After our wonderful shower last week, I really have felt the itch to get things more and more ready for your arrival. I washed a few clothes and blankets, straightened up the nursery, and even opened a package of diapers and put them in the basket so they are waiting for your sweet little bottom. I know it will still be a few, or several, more weeks until your arrival, but I like knowing your special things will be ready for you.

I had a moment this week while I was sitting in the nursery after one such "cleaning spree." It was a quiet moment, as your sister was napping, and the sun was streaming in from outside as Spring is trying to make her appearance around here. It was just a moment of clarity; of realizing that I'm about to be a mother to another child, to you, and that you will grow me in all new ways. I realized that your tiny little body will soon lay in that crib, and that your cries will wake me in the night, and that my body will try to sustain your life. I knew all these things before, but I felt them anew in that moment. And if I'm being honest with you: that moment excited me and scared me all over. It's such a blessing to be your mom, but it's a big responsibility too.

You've also developed some interesting patterns in my expanding belly. You don't move as much as your sister did, or at least you don't kick and punch like she did, but you seem to roll and your movements are very strong and methodical. I'm not sure if it's your head or your back or what, but several times throughout the day you push and prod something out on the lower left side of my abdomen [is it still considered an abdomen at this point!?]. And then you just hang out like that, with what feels like all your weight pressing right there. It makes me laugh, but I'm sure I have an internal bruise right in that spot! I've also noticed your feet [?] up in my ribs on the upper right side lately. This was something I distinctly remember your sister doing too, because once she did it while I was teaching  and I started pushing right there to try to get her to move and one of my students freaked out and thought I was going into labor! I can tell you're getting longer and gaining weight-- you're becoming even more of the little newborn I will get to meet so soon!

The weather was nice enough this week that we were able to go on a couple of walks. I can't go as far or as fast as I used to, but it still felt good to get out and breathe in the fresh air and stretch my legs a bit. It will be so fun to push you around in a few months, and you can join us for walks on the outside. 

Oh sweet daughter, it is incredible how much love I feel for you already. Stay safe and healthy, and we will meet soon enough.

Love, Mom

I realized I hadn't done a "comparison" from my last pregnancy and this one. It's kind of hard to tell since I was wearing a dress [I used to dress up ;)], but I really am about the same size at this point, I think, as last time. And that is just a pic of me being silly. 

baby bump #2: week 31

I don't know what my hair is doing in this picture, but who cares when Blythe is lookin' that cute. [This was really a 32 week pic, but…so it goes]

At the baby shower…more pictures to come

Dear Baby, 

What a full week we had. You had lots of family visiting: your Aunt Kali and Uncle Dan, and your cousins Caroline, Ellie, and Wesley; and your Aunt Beth, and cousins Henry and George. We spent a lot of time bee-boppin' from one place to the next, but it was a time full of good fellowship, and lots of noise and giggles.

I realized this week that I have to listen to my body a little more, and realize I'm pregnant a little bit more. Your sister is one heavy "little" thing: 30 pounds!  I have to be careful that I don't overdo lifting her, or I'm very uncomfortable and sore by the end of the day. I had a little issue from it, but my doctor isn't concerned and we got a good bill of health at this week's appointment! We go every two weeks now, and I don't ever want to take for granted the "routine" visits we've been having.

We also had an absolutely wonderful shower thrown for us this week. I wasn't really expecting anything, since you are baby number two, but my sister worked her little hiney and pulled off magic with my Grandma Ann. They hosted a "tea party" shower for us at Grandma's house [your great grandma], and we had scones and cucumber sandwiches and tea and coffee to our hearts' content. There was a wonderful turnout, and though Aunt Kali "advertised" it as primarily a "diaper" shower, we were showered and blessed beyond my expectations! We are surrounded by such incredible people, baby girl, and I can't wait to share them with you, and you with them.

To close the shower, we sat in a circle and several of the ladies prayed for us: for everything from a safe delivery,to our transition to a family of four, to your future "sister-ship" with Blythe, to my recovery post-partum, to my decision in breast feeding, to your traits… but mostly they prayed that you would be the young woman God is already making you to be, and that you would know Jesus, and He would show your dad and me how to be the best parents we can be for you. It was a very special time.

And now we are off to week 32, and time keeps flying. You'll be in my arms before we know it.

Love, 
Mom

baby bump #2: week 30

even though this is not a great picture, I feel like you can see the belly more

being silly

Dear baby,

30 weeks! I feel like this is a BIG milestone. There are only 10 weeks left, give or take, and your survival rate outside of the womb increases drastically at this point. It's at this time that you start packing on the pounds [about a 1/2 a pound a week]. I read somewhere that now I'm supposed to be gaining about a pound a week…but let's just say I translate that flexibly. Last night your dad had to run to the store to get milk anyway, so I asked for my first impulsive "pregnancy" purchase: a bag of m&ms. I told him to grab a pound bag "or something", but he found a 1/2 pound bag. That was probably best because, let's just keep this between you and me, but it's already gone. 

I got out all your clothes this week and put them in your dresser. It was fun unpacking the boxes and remembering your sister in those outfits, and it made me anxious to SEE you and hold you too. It's amazing how quickly one can forget just how tiny newborn stuff is! I was able to put newborn through 3-6 months clothes in the dresser! I also got your crib bedding all washed, and raised the crib up again. It's not only the crib your sister slept in, but the one I slept in when I was a baby too!  

Speaking of all that stuff: I know what it's like to be a second child and receive hand-me-downs. I hope you don't mind too much. I didn't really care. And here is a secret: being the second girl is awesome! Blythe will figure out all the ins and outs of a lot of stuff before you do: like how to fix hair, or solve the quadratic formula, or get through middle school… and she'll be able to help YOU do all those things when it's your turn! She'll even figure out what does or doesn't work with me and your dad-- the hard stuff will be done for ya! ;) 

Oh sweet baby, I love you so much. I'm definitely feeling more pregnant this time around. I've felt more pressures and pains and just general discomfort as I've gotten further along this time. My entire abdomen will get super tight and contract for a bit already. But I mean this wholeheartedly when I say: I don't care! Sleepless nights? Leg cramps? A gazillion bathroom breaks? Bring them on, because they are a part of growing YOU. 

And growing you is one of the best decisions I've ever made, and I thank the Lord for letting me do it. 

We love you! We're on the downhill slope now!

Love, Mom

baby bump #2: week 29

Laughing at the photographer [Brent].
Blythe was napping, hence her absence from this picture. 

I almost forgot to snap one this week, so technically this is pushing 30 weeks but shhhhh, she will never know.

Dear Baby,

Oh my sweet tiny girl! I'm getting to the point that I'm getting anxious to get things done to prepare for your arrival, and more and more anxious to hold you and get to know all about you. What makes you laugh? What makes you uncomfortable? And beyond that, what will your passions be in this life? Your daddy and I have been praying that you will be devoted, meaning that you are committed and passionate about what is most important to you-- and so I wonder what that will be? Ultimately we pray it stems from the heart of Jesus.

Our doctor's appointment went well, and everything is right on track, which is always such a blessing to hear. I also got a new gliding rocking chair to put in the corner of your room, but your dad loves it so much, it's currently taken up residence in our living room!

Other big news? Your room has officially been vacated! The nursery is now ALL YOURS. Blythe moved to her new room and big bed this week [she did great], and that means it is time for me to get all YOUR stuff out, wash the crib bedding, and hang up a few decorations that I made just for you. I can't wait.

I'll leave you with this funny story: I was helping out in the infant nursery at church this week, and was changing a diaper. I got the new diaper on, snapped the onesie, pulled the little guy's pants half way up, and then proceeded to stand him up to pull his pants up the rest of the way like I've gotten used to doing with your sister. I forgot, however, that 8 month olds have noodles for legs, and was left awkwardly holding him and trying to maneuver his britches up. How did I forget so quickly? When I relayed this story to your nana, she laughed and assured me it will all come back to me. For your flimsy little leg's sake, I hope so!

I love you, little one. I am cherishing your kicks and flips and jabs in my ribs. Truly. I love it. Ten more weeks! [?] Here we go!

Love, Mom 

baby bump #2: 28 weeks

When she saw me move over to the wall, and saw Brent with the camera, she literally sprinted over!

Dear baby,

This week has been fairly uneventful, except for the fact that I can tell you are growing immensely! My entire belly will move and shake now when you roll and flip in there.

Also, the weather finally warmed up a little bit and we were able to get out and go for a walk. We walked a little over a mile and I'm just gonna throw this out there: wowsers. I should probably do that a little more because I was actually sore the next day. It is incredible to realize how my body is changing and stretching moment by moment.

Bending over to put on shoes or pull up pants, rolling over in bed, getting up from the floor, etc. are becoming increasingly more difficult for me these days. But I mean this sincerely: I don't mind too much, because all these things that are slightly uncomfortable remind me that YOU are here with me. Every pain or ache or uncomfortable moment means YOU. And I love you. So I don't mind them.

This week we also celebrated Valentine's Day. We didn't do much on the actual day, but just spent time together as a family. We definitely dreamed about your little life and how much more love that means for our family, and we are so very excited, little one-- excited to meet you and love you and hold you and kiss you and get to know you. And smell you. I can't wait to smell the scent of you.

Love, Mom

baby bump #2: week 27

Blythe, sneaking in to the picture with her mullet

This makes me laugh so much.
Also, HELLO baby! 

Dear baby,

This was a fun week for me to be your mama.

First, you gave me a little gift. I've been waiting for your hiccups, as it is one of my absolute favorite parts of pregnancy [oh, you thought it was was the leg cramps and the bloody noses? Sorry, you were wrong ;)]. And sure enough, on February 5th, I sat down for a minute right before your sister woke up from her afternoon nap. I thought, "Hmm, I feel the baby's heartbeat…" and then realized that that isn't something I can feel…"OH! Hiccups!!" I just cherish it because it is such a human little thing for you to be doing in there. It really makes me feel like I'm holding my baby, YOU, close. So keep 'em up [unless they are uncomfortable for you?].

The other thing that happened was a tea party with your sister. We spread a quilt out on the living room floor, poured water and a little sugar from a real tea set, and shared animal crackers. What does this have to do with you? It just made me dream a little about our days ahead-- about days with TWO girls sprawled across a quilt in our living room, pouring each other tea and giggling. I know there will be times you and Blythe don't get along, but I also know that having a sister is a precious gift, and I so look forward to watching you two grow into that gift.

In other news, you are getting bigger by the minute I think! It seems that all at once it is difficult for me to bend over to put on shoes or pick up toys, and my energy is a bit more zapped. All in all though? So worth every minute.

Before I go I have to tell you a funny story about your daddy. The other night I wasn't sleeping the best and tossed and turned a bit. I got up to use the restroom and when I crawled back in bed I sneezed.  Not a big deal. However, your dad, waking up upon the sneeze, sat straight up in bed and kept asking if I was okay. I kept saying, "I just sneezed, I just sneezed…" but he was panicked and kept saying, "What happened? What happened?" The next day in the car I sneezed and teasingly said to him right away, "It was just a sneeze! I'm okay!" He's just concerned [and was partially asleep], but it was pretty funny.

We are getting more and more excited everyday, and your dad gets to feel your movements more now too. In less than three months you'll be in our arms. We love you.

Love, Mom