Christmas Card

Here we are at the end of 2019. Last night we drove around and looked at Christmas lights, an obligatory tradition that we've grown to love. And I kid you not as we sat crammed in the front seat, windows fogging over and music playing, my eyes began to fill with the most grateful tears-- that these are my people, and that this is the life I have been given. We are not perfect, things are not perfect, and this world is far from perfect, but we get glimpses of heaven that remind us always we have a Savior calling us home, and He likes to give us good gifts.

A few brief updates for you in this now very annual Christmas-letter-on-the-blog thing that I do:

Blythe is now 7 and in second grade. Every year we kind of hold our breath, expecting the ball to drop with this one because she's just made things too easy for us, truth be told. And 2019 was not the year the ball dropped. She's still such a fun, joyful, quirky, creative, kind, helpful little human being. She devours books and started taking piano. She hears and feels music in ways I have never been able to. We went to my mom's Christmas cantata and she sat enraptured listening to the community choir. On the way home, eyes wide with wonder, she said, "Mom! They were all singing the same song but everyone was singing it differently...together. It was so beautiful." She has an incredibly large sweet tooth, finally lost two of her actual teeth, and simply adores all her siblings. She and Becks started sleeping tangled up in a twin bed together because they just love being together, and that is in large part because Blythe has always been so patient and gracious with Becks. About a month ago she told us that she had asked Jesus into her heart, because she was a sinner, and then proceeded to tell us that she wants to get baptized. We took her out for a little dinner, just the three of us, to let her know how proud we are of this decision, and what this means for her moving forward. She will get baptized just after the first of the year. Would you all pray for her in this new life in Christ she has found?

Becks is 5. She started kindergarten, and her teacher told me she knew she was shy. but she did not know she was THAT shy. She's slowly come out of her shell a bit, though, and she's doing well. She has lots of friends and is participating more and more. PE is her favorite. She got to start tball this summer and loved it [she was a helmet with legs, let's be honest! ha!]. She has such a robust imagination and, while she is quiet at school, she is ALL BUT quiet when she is home. She is a ball of energy and emotions--she feels things with her whole body and this tends to explode out of her in rapturous, loud crazy happiness or ferocious, shrieking anger. We never have to wonder what she is thinking, that's for sure. She is profoundly compassionate, and generally wields this as a tool to construct and not a weapon to destroy... generally. ;) When Blythe told us she had prayed and asked Jesus into her heart,  Becks piped up and said, "Mom, I've prayed, like, hundreds of times." She never wants to be left out. Also, I must note: this girl LOVES to be barefoot in the mud of a creek bed.  This fall I wrote about how I just feel an incredible connection with this little lady, as she and I have been through the trenches together. Having survived her toddler years together, I now really really really enjoy my time with this sweet little lady and miss her while she's at school. .

Nan is 3. She is full. Full of life, full of noise, full of questions, full of impatience, full of snacks, full of jokes, full of needs, full of frustrations, full of movement, full full full. She wears me out in ways the others have not. At the end of a full day with Nan Louise, I am simply and utterly exhausted. I told Brent the other day that if I didn't know I had been the one to be with her every day, I would have thought she was raised by a pack of wild animals-- our very own Mogley. ;)  She is not manipulative or largely disobedient or defiant, she is just....full. She loves to draw, go on nature days, do a little preschool with me here and there, and enjoys being read to. She's currently sitting next to me while I type this and her questions and constant talking are so loud and insistent that I honestly have no idea what this paragraph says. She is a most persistent child. She also feels things deeply.  [Can you sense a theme in our largely-female-dominated home?] She has a hard time watching shows, or being read to with much inflection, as she intuits danger or a character's fear or worry. She got glasses in the spring for astigmatism, and they are just the perfect addition to her little face, though she still runs into walls not due to her eyesight but due to her lack of focus and forethought ;). She has formed a fast friendship with one of our retired neighbors and loves her play dates with her. She misses her sisters during the day now, but is forming a neat little relationship with Sloan. She has asked me approximately 4,928 times if she can type the 1 for how old Sloan is, so we're going to move on to his paragraph, as you all pray for my patience in the year ahead with Nan ;)

Sloan is 1i ["Nan that is the letter i," I said. "But it's okay. We will leave it," she said.] This guy. He is all slobber and deep grunts and giggles and he runs everywhere. He doesn't climb much, thankfully, but he has mastered our stairs. He is so much more physical than the girls ever were at this age, and is still a man of few words. Just today I received my first kiss from him. He's so busy and so NOT snuggly, that I have begged and bribed and smothered him in a million kisses trying to get one in return. But to no avail. Until today. So maybe the tide is turning on his affections ;). He is an utter joy. We're having a hard time disciplining him at the supper table when he throws food or puts his foot up on the table, because as soon as we say anything the girls all start laughing at him. To say he is adored around here is an understatement. He eats more than the others at most meals. He looooooovvvveeesssss to be outside, to throw balls, and to snack all the live long day. He loves cars and books with the little hidden flap things. At the beginning of this year, Sloan had no teeth and wasn't even crawling. It's amazing how quickly they change at this age. We have entered full-on toddler-dom, and I couldn't be happier about.

Brent is still a compliance officer with a local bank, starting year number ten with them! He is deeply invested in men's discipleship ministries, and just men in general, at our church and it has been exciting to see his passion for that. He competed in several triathlons this spring-fall, two being Olympic size. He would love to complete a half-ironman triathlon in 2020. He  is always so generous towards the rest of us in the family with his time, and training time for these long triathlons is no joke!  I'm always amazed that he trains almost entirely before the rest of us are out of bed in the morning [which means he has until 7:30/7:45... the rest of us like to sleep ;)]. He's still just one of the best, most steady, gracious humans I know, and I feel so lucky I get to do all this by his side.

And me? Well, I'm still here. Still predominately spending my days at home with the kids. Packing lunches, applying bandaids, crafting, changing poopy pants, washing clothes, drying clothes, folding clothes, finding socks in ALL the places, and ultimately knowing that all of this small seemingly menial day to day is reaping a harvest of faithfulness if I am just willing to die to myself and keep loving and serving in the ordinary. It's a gift. An exhausting, sometimes mind-numbing, always humbling gift to get to be with these little people and create a safe, welcome place for everyone to call home. I don't know that I've always seen it as holy work, but I do now. I also still love to create things and do photography. I was asked to speak at a few different women's events in the area this year and that was a joy as well. I hope to write a little more in 2020, but please see the above paragraphs regarding the last two children. We will see ;).

2019 started out a little darker than usual for us. We were two months in to our new home, living in a mess of construction and piles of things with no place to go. We were exhausted from late nights of working on project after project, and the needs of our kids didn't stop just so we could get things done. We had several mishaps, water in the newly finished basement, etc. etc. We were weary, to say the least.  But like I said in the last paragraph, it was about the end goal that we kept on moving. During that time I would think back to my senior year of college when I had a little notecard taped on my desk with this simple prayer: "Lord, help me make my home a restful, safe, inviting place for Brent to come home to." I was engaged and preparing to be a wife, and I wanted to pray over the home we would be sharing soon. And now, twelve years later, that notecard is long gone, but that's still a prayer of mine. And so we would put on our work clothes when all we wanted to do was lay on the couch. We worked, not towards a fancy house with all the latest, but towards a restful, safe, inviting place for all six of us to come home and to invite others. And here at the end of 2019? We are feeling those things more-- restful. Safe. At home.

And this year for Christmas, I want to watch the amazement in Sloan's little eyes as he discovers the beauty and magic of Christmas around him. I want to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" again and again, and drink eggnog until I'm sick to my stomach. I want to snuggle with my husband and be thankful for Christmas number 16 that I get to spend with him. I want to read the Christmas story and feel the words: and she will call him Emmanuel, God WITH US. I want to watch my kids do the actions to "Away in the Manger" over and over and kiss them all under the mistletoe. I want to build another fort and snowman in our front yard then run inside and drink raspberry hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and tuck my toes under Brent's for warmth. I want to tuck our kids in bed and sing to them the song I still have memorized from a children's program at church when I was their age: Christmas isn't Christmas 'til it happens in your heart. Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts. So give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do, that it's Christmas, really Christmas, for you. I want to eat homemade toffee and caramels and look at all the Christmas lights around town. I want to lounge around with family and not worry about the time. I want to sing over a lit candle on Christmas Eve as I think about the Light that has stepped into darkness.

And I want you all to have a beautiful Christmas, full of laughter and hugs and blessings. Full of joy, love, and peace.

Enjoy Christ's birth.
I know it's been said many times many way....

Merry Christmas to you!

Kelsey, Brent, Blythe, Becks, Nan, and Sloan