baby bump 3: week 39

Baby girl,

This is my last chance to write to you on the inside.  In less than 12 hours, I will head to the hospital and we will start an induction. I don't know what that process is going to be like, but I know you're at the end of it.

This week has been humbling. I've had to rely on others for pretty much everything, as being on my feet at all has been a bit too much for me. Your grandma's have provided a lot of food and laundry folding for us, as well as some wonderful friends. I've tried to rest, drink lots of water, and just lay low as much as I could. It was hard because I wanted to be as present as I could with your sisters, since they are in for a big change too, but it was really difficult. At one point Blythe said, "I can stand up a lot longer than you because I don't have a baby sister in my tummy." True!

Tuesday was an interesting day. Late Monday I started to have contractions and, they weren't regular or consistent, but they were happening and they were stronger than what I had been having. Given my history with quick deliveries, and my doctor's advice to "come in with anything!" we decided to at least go to town and be closer to the hospital. I only had one or two contractions on the way. I knew I wasn't in labor, but I didn't know if it would get there, and if it got there how quickly it would become the real deal. So your dad and I walked around the parking lot a bit to try and see if things would pick up. I felt like I walked MILES but he claims it was maybe a half a mile. I'm still doubtful ;). At one point we got back in the car to warm up a little and see if anything was happening... and there was a BEE in my pants and it STUNG me! I'm not kidding! Craziest thing. Your dad pulled the stinger out of my knee, we killed the bee, and then we drove to a gas station. He got a drink and got me some ice to put on the sting. So weird. We went back to the hospital and decided I may as well have them check me and monitor things and make sure we weren't "silently" progressing [ that's a real thing!]. I was still at a three, and things didn't pick up. They told us we could stay as long as we were comfortable given my history, but at 1:30 we packed up and headed to a friend's in town to spend the night just in case [because this was eerily similar to what happened with your sister, Becks]. I had a few more contractions that night but then they stopped.

We came back home mid morning so your dad could get a few things done at work, and we could see your sisters, and then headed BACK for my appointment that afternoon. We fell asleep in the waiting room. Our doctor is so great and she was super thorough. She said she wanted to keep me, but since we were so close to our induction date we would wait it out. She said everything was really ready to go, and the only thing keep you in was the fact that I wasn't in labor! She emphasized again the need for us to come with anything, walked us through what the induction would look like, and said over and over again how quickly she thinks it will happen once we get my labor going. We will see!

We were both pretty exhausted after that night/day, and we were thankful the contractions stopped and we were able to get a couple of good night's rest. And now we're ready! Well, as ready as one can be. It's really strange knowing that tomorrow you'll be here with us. I'm not anxious about tomorrow, but I just don't really know how to process it. But here is what I do know: God is already standing there. And God is not only there, but He is also with us, and He is also inside of me. Oh baby girl, I know it doesn't seem possible that a God so big could be so intimate and near, but He is. I know it doesn't always make sense and that we can't comprehend that, but our finite minds don't change Him. So He is there waiting for us at the hospital. And He is here with us in this moment. And He is moving inside of me giving me His peace and transforming my thoughts to be His. I can't wait to tell you more about Him... while I look into your eyes.

We love you so much. These 9 months have been harder than I anticipated, but they have brought us to this moment. We can do this! You and I will work hard together tomorrow and then we will get to meet in a whole new way. See you soon.

Love, Mom