Sloan is SIX!

 Sloan Lee,

I remember the shift from five to six with each of your sisters, and it seemed an impossibly large leap-- a shift from little kid to big kid. And since you are the last kiddo in the house, it seems to be an even larger leap somehow. But there are moments when I sit back and I just watch the expressions on your face, or the tremor in your arms like jolts of lightning when you're excited, and I know that getting to watch you turn another year older is a gift. 

This year marked your last year at home, and boy oh boy did we make the most of it. You did preschool three days a week for a few hours, and you loved it as much as I knew you would. The best part, though, was getting to be with your buddy Mac so much. He and his mom would come pick you up and even though this happened three times a week, you acted as if you hadn't seem him for months every single time. And every day they would drop you back off at home, you two begged for Mac to stay and play just for a little bit. Luckily I adore his mom, and Taylor and I had a sweet time most days just chatting and listening to you two boys giggle and dress like crazy cave-men and build magna tiles and jump on the trampoline. It was a sweet year of simple friendship and your social cup was filled so full. 

On days you didn't have preschool, you still squeezed in lots of nature days, or we'd make trips to the river or Cookstove, or you'd beg to go spend time with Nana and or to Nini and PopPops, or to go play in Dianna's play room. We all relished our "last" days with just you home, knowing that Kindergarten was on the horizon. Some of your favorite ways to spend your time when it was just us at home though were the same things you've always loved: cars, monster trucks, magna tiles, loads of books, and even more snacks. You still kept up your tradition of "second breakfasts" and you ate truckloads of cereal. Our "big" days were when we'd head to Sams Club and get groceries and you'd get to have a slice of pizza and a slushee. You loved it! 

You were very slow to want to learn how to ride your bike, but finally you got on one and it took no time. You're still very nervous about using the brakes so you don't love doing it by yourself but you're more than capable. Swimming, on the other hand, is something you excel at. You absolutely love being in the water and swim and swim and swim nonstop. You dive in the deep in, you go clear to the bottom to retrieve treasures, and you rarely take a break. You absolutely love it. 

One of your favorite things in life right now is Aldi "chicken fingers," and I think you would eat 25 if I put them all on your plate. One of my favorite things about you is your absolute ZEST for life. Your enthusiasm is contagious, and I want to be just like you when I grow up. You never wake up on the wrong side of bed, and one of the best things to do is just sit and watch you eat your breakfast, with dreams still in your eyes, some creases on your cheeks in the dull morning light, but sparkles behind your eyes as you wake up to get to LIVE another day, full of JOY and abundant energy. We always joke that if you had a tail it would constantly be wagging. 

Two days before your birthday you started Kindergarten, and while I knew you were totally ready, it was still that "bookend" moment for me of passing into a different phase of life. It didn't help my emotions about it that we started at a new school and I went back to teaching full time... it was just a lot of change at once for the ole mom. BUT you handled it like the incredible kid you are: it was just one more adventure. We already have gotten sweet notes home from your Kindergarten teacher saying how you come to school ready to learn and obey. You're have always loved to learn and to make friends, so the school setting is great environment for you. You did say to me as we walked out of the building on day two, "So we do school every day?" To which I had to laugh, because I am kind of feeling the same adjustment from our slow, sweet days at home too, Buddy. I can't wait to see all the ways you will grow and change this year though. 

Any conversation with you is a treat-- to get to see how your mind works is a wonder. One day recently as we passed Home Depot you said, "Ohhhh. I know that store! That's a hard store." And another day, I'm not sure what prompt it, but you told me you want to be "be alive and be in heaven."I get it, man. Me too. And when Nan was once freaking out about some blood on her leg, you leaned back in your chair and said, "It's fine, Nan. Blood is fine. It's red. It's my favorite color." 

Ever since you were teeny I used to tell you, "You're my favorite boy." And you would grab my cheeks with your little hands and you would say back, "You're my favorite girl." This is still something we do all the time, and though I'm dreading the day you'll outgrow it, I relish in it right now. When I put you to bed at night we also repeat something I began with your older sisters, and now when you say it you fold your hands and close your eyes and, with great fervor, say, "I'm not what I have, what I do, or what people say; I'm a child of God and no one can take that away. There's nothing I could do to make God love me less or more; I don't have to hurry or worry, Jesus settled the score. I can rest in the love of my heavenly Father, and let my courage and kindness be a gift to others." It is a great reminder to me at the end of each day, and I pray that those words would bury into your bones so that, as you grow older you'll truly know the beauty of Savior who holds all your hurry and worry for you. 

Oh Sloany, I could write and write and write words but I will never capture the fervor that makes up who you are. Thank you for loving us all fresh every day, without ever holding any grudges. Thank you for being the first one to smile and laugh and remind us JOY is always the best play to sit. Thanks for being you, Sloany ba doney. 

As always: your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was grace that held us together; that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all. 

Happy sixth birthday, Sloan Lee! We will always come for you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you! 

Becks is TEN

Dear Becks,

A few days before your birthday I said to you, "After this birthday you'll never be able to use a single digit to write how old you are again." You thought about it a second and said, "Well that's kind of sad." And while it definitely marks the end of an era, and ten does feel like a "big" number compared to a single digit, it has not been sad to get to watch you grow into the fun and vivacious ten-year-old you are today. 

It's been a great year getting to watch you grow and change. I think everyone always says about their kids, "I can't imagine our family with you!" But here is specifically what would change if you weren't in our family: we we would all have way fewer hugs, we would all laugh a lot less, we wouldn't get to hear your beautiful singing voice, Sloan wouldn't have such a sweet sister to help him out and play with him and tuck him in, Nan wouldn't have someone to help teach her some new skills and read books with her, Blythe wouldn't have her partner in crime and creativity, I wouldn't have a helper in the kitchen, and your dad would have no one to snuggle next to on the couch. I would also definitely miss your little smirking blue eyes above the mischievous smile you flash so often. 

As I am writing this you found me to show me the frog you just caught and now you're busy building it a habitat. You love to catch frogs, hold snakes, walk barefoot in the mud, and catch bugs. You still say you want to be a vet one day (if not a "farmer with just animals"). And while you are fascinated by "all creatures great and small," I don't know that your tender heart could handle the shots and surgeries that come with being a veterinarian, but time will tell. While Blythe has really started to enjoy hunting, you just don't think you'd be able to pull the trigger on an animal. And that is totally okay. You've found what you love in fishing-- and I think it is a perfect compliment to who you are: being outside, touching slimy things, standing in the quiet, the possibility of adventure at the end of your hook. 

You had an excellent school year in fourth grade-- not only did you have wonderful friends but I saw you engage wit what you ere learning more and more, especially American history. You loved it so much that when it was time for your special movie night/sleepover with me for your birthday, you decided you wanted to watch "Hamilton" because you had been learning all about that history. I of course edited a little bit to make it more age appropriate, but you enjoyed it more than I anticipated. You also have really loved playing softball, wanting to play catch and do drills with me in the yard any time you can. Your dad took you out for a run one day, as you were determined to prove that you could run as far with him as Nan had, but we quickly discovered you have too much fire inside of you-- which resulted in very little restraint in how you ran and you'd burst ahead, then quickly burn out...burst ahead, then quickly burn out. You'll either be a sprinter, or learn how to reign it all in. 

Reigning it all in has seemed to be a theme for your growth this year, personally. We've talked long and often about how you can love others, not burst out with impatience or anger (primarily toward siblings), and are trying to learn how to pray through the fruits of the Spirit to guide you in this growth. You've grown so much in your leadership and in your willingness to step out and try new things. It's been so fun to watch your public timidness begin to fade away and see you show others the strong and beautiful sides of your personality that you before had mainly reserved for your family to see. 

You fell in love with The Babysitter's Club books this school year, which was really fun for me because I read them as well when I was your age. You've always been a good reader, but you would be in the middle of 5 different books and never finish any of them! Not so with the BSC! You've been flying through them.  I knew you'd like them... there is just enough drama but also you love little ones and you're very excited to get to babysit one day. 

You still absolutely love to help me do anything in the kitchen, and this past year I would say it really flipped to where you're actually helping me! You'll roll out meatballs and chop onions and stir batter. You're always excited when whatever we're cooking involves you getting your hands just a little bit dirty, too. You cannot wait for this summer because Aunt Kali will be visiting, and she always lets your bake with her. I don't bake very much, so it's a whole new world of learning and engaging and you've talked about it for the last two years since you last were able to with her and have big plans for the cakes you'll make this summer.

You still love to put together an outfit and ask your opinion quite often now on what shoes to wear or what earrings to pair with a particular shirt. We actually did your birthday pictures this year before any of your sister's, even though their birthdays were first, because you had a vision to take them in the purple fields and at the river.  For your big birthday gift we gave you tickets to your first concert: Lauren Daigle. You were so excited, but one of the first things you started thinking about was what you were going to wear :). Our dear neighbor and friend, Dianna--who knows you well, asked if she could get you a Lauren Daigle t-shirt to wear to the concert. You were thrilled...and then had to figure out how you wanted to fix your hair. You and I had so much fun, not just at the concert, but on the whole little overnight trip we took. I will always remember you taking in the show--the music, the people, the lights. You did it in your own quiet, Becks way, leaning into me and just smiling. And this is how you take in much of the world: leaning in and smiling. And I think that's a pretty great way to be. 

As always: your dad and I hope you always understand the why behind our no-s. We hope you feel safe in the boundaries we set. We hope you feel freedom in the wide open places we leave for you. We hope you see God in our actions and words. We hope when you leave our little home for good and go out on your own that you'll look back on this simple little life we had together-- chaos and mistakes and messes and all-- and see that it was grace that held us together; that you see that it was God's daily bread that provided it all. 

Happy tenth birthday, Becks Lynae! We will always come for you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you!